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When your 3 month old is screaming her precious little head off and your 3 year old is drawing on your 1.5 year old with marker, you should probably step away from the world wide web. But, sometimes you just have to read about what Reality Steve said about last night’s Bachelor episode…….
When our oldest was born in March 2011, my world was rocked.
My deep-seated selfishness beat up hard against a life at the mercy of meeting the ever-changing moods and needs of this sweet, irrational, messy little babe.
And then it got rocked again in June 2012 and again in December 2013.
I am a mama to three beautiful, sweet, booger-picking, tantrum-throwing, nap-revolting little people. They bring a love out of me that I didn’t know I was capable of. They also bring an ugly out of me that I didn’t know was there. Some days I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Some days I don’t know how I’m going to survive the day with them.
I am a mama. But I am so much more than a mama. I am an introvert. I like people but only in small doses.
I love Zumba, but I’m the last to step on the dance floor at a party.
I am a hard worker unless the work has the word house in front of it. I’m a terrible cook and even worse decorator.
I like to read up on all things nutrition, spend a silly amount of money at Whole Foods on chia seeds, coconut oil and kale chips, and then eat an entire box of reduced fat Wheat Thins.
I want to be a good mama, a good wife, a good daughter, but I have failed and will fail. And this is why I cannot tell my story without telling my grace story.
See I am broken, and my poor kids are stuck with this broken mama. But I have been given this unbelievable gift of grace from a God who is crazy in love with me.
My babies are beautiful, but they are not mine. They are His.
He gives me grace. I give them grace. They give me grace. We live messy. We love hard. We live the Gospel.
I write a blog because the season of breastfeeding for me was a season of seeing the Gospel worked out in my life.
I failed miserably the first time around. Ellie was breastfed for a mere week before my nipples cried uncle. Nolan and I made it 10 months. It was pure joy. It was pure struggle. Lena and I have been going strong for four months with the end goal being to nurse for a year.
I created www.thegoodlatch.com as an extension of the grace that’s been extended to me. A space for connecting with other mamas working out their journeys. A safe space.
Were visions of breastfeeding bliss dancing through your head before you actually tried the whole breastfeeding thing out?
How long did that last? A mere ten seconds? Even that may be stretching it a bit......
Oh breastfeeding, how could such a good thing be so stinkin' hard and so stinkin'…