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degree in psychology
religious institutions
important decisions
time women
many things
southern california
Women Try Too Hard To Be Perfect
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Women Try Too Hard to Be Perfect


Many women feel overwhelmed. Dr. Debora Spar is an expert on women's roles and on setting reasonable goals. She was a professor at Harvard before becoming President of Barnard College in July 2008. Many women would consider her to be a success because she got a doctorate in political science, taught business students, and became President of Barnard College.

These women are either trying to do things for others because people asked them to do these things or because they give themselves too many things to do. Otheer women are overwhelmed because they try to do things for others and do things for themselves at the same time. With the first situation, assertiveness is very important. With both situations, setting up priorities is important. Another thing to consider is deadlines. Some projects or tasks need to be completed by a certain day or time, and other projects can be done any time.

Women's Roles

Dr. Spar said women can make choices regarding whether to be close to relatives or to their old friends or whether to move somewhere else. However, many women are raising families away from relatives and old friends. In addition, not many women get help from religious institutions with the many demands of taking care of a home and working more than 40 hours a week.

I used to be one of many women want to please other people and also express themselves professionally at the same time. I started doing fewer things for other people so I could have time to figure out what I wanted to achieve professionally. I spent many years trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I made some important decisions earlier this year.

I decided to use my bachelor's degree in Psychology. I enjoy writing and I have been blogging for several months. I decided to use my degree to help people, both through writing on the Internet and through working with people outside the home. I am Deaf, and I decided to work with Deaf and hard-of-hearing people in southern California. I will apply for graduate school in the near future. I plan to study for a master's degree in Social Work.

Why Many Women are Overwhelmed

I have observed women at work who are mothers. They are often overwhelmed with trying to schedule medical and dental appointments for their children, and making sure their children are able to participate in after-school sports. Many of these women who work full-time also have their own businesses or are going to school while working.

I was overwhelmed also even though I did not do much housework. I was responsible for most of the errands such as shopping and arranging medical appointments for me and my husband. I also helped him with business paperwork. In addition, I tried going to school in the evenings. I wanted to work on the Internet, and I just didn't have enough energy to do all these things. I am much better now at setting priorities and delegating my work# I figured out how to set goals for my future#

Setting Goals and Coping Skills

Part of setting goals is to make realistic goals for yourself. Here’s how smart goal setting would work. Smart goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. For instance, if you wanted to be a perfect housewife by making fancy and nutritious meals, do housework, and keep the house clean all the time while you work full-time, that may not be realistic. A more realistic goal would be to make basic nutritious meals ahead of time and freeze them for the week and cleaning the house on the days you are not going to work. Some women may also want to do other things such as having a business on the side, helping children with their homework or on planning family outings. For smart goal setting, you would need to be more specific about what you want to accomplish and then find a way to measure the goal. Smart goals allow you to figure out whether you accomplished these goals or not.

Marcia Reynolds, Psy. D., is another expert. Her article about how to deal with being overwhelmed discussed how to set goals. She said to make a list of all your projects and tasks. Then decide how important these things are by asking yourself whether these projects and tasks help make the world a better place or help you to achieve your goals. Then you can delegate the relatively unimportant projects and goals to other people.


I wrote an article about powerful (successful) women in August for Street Articles. At that time, I knew there was no way these women could have fulfilled all the obligations I discussed earlier in this article. I used to be one of those women who said "Yes" every time other people asked for help. I had many things I wanted to do for myself and other people. I would get overwhelmed because I was reluctant to say "No," and I also did not like to ask for help. I learned how to prioritize, and I also learned the importance of asking for help. I get more things done this way, and my priority is to work toward my goals. I included a picture of Dr. Piya Sorcar, who is one of the so-called successful women.

Street Talk

Setting priorities and setting goals are critical to choosing how to live our lives. Sometimes it is useful to set big goals because that gives us a purpose to strive towards. For myself, that's part of what makes life worth living. For example, once when my ankle got damaged and surgeries left me in a wheelchair and unable to cope, one goal I set was walking. In fact, by 2009 I could walk over 10 miles - though now I'm injured in another way and unable to walk, I remain determined to enjoy walking again. And distances too... Nicely done. Good job on a good topic. Blessings with your goals and priorities. You're on the right path simply by setting them;)

  about 1 decade ago

Thank you for your encouragement. I am sorry to hear you are unable to walk at this time. I pray for a speedy recovery for you and a good year in 2013!

  about 1 decade ago


  about 1 decade ago

i like your article Sarah

  about 1 decade ago

Thank you. When women set priorities, they won't be overwhelmed with trying to do too many things.

  about 1 decade ago


  about 1 decade ago
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