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I have experience it firsthand. Returning home from a thirty day treatment program I was thankfully greeted by loving and supportive family members. Feeling like a totally new person I faced my friends who are not addicts with the same excitement only to find them either lost for words or choosing to talk about anything except my recovery or the path that I went down to cause me to seek it.
It is extremely puzzling to me why this is. We hear about movie star’s addictions through the media practically every day and people love to talk about them. Look at the recent “Charlie Sheen” publicity that made millions for those on the internet who choose a niche in the “Hollywood” news arena. That’s just it. We love to talk about them but for whatever reason we don’t care to talk with “them”.
Recovery is not an easy task. Drug addiction and alcoholism (being one in the same because alcohol is a drug) are incurable diseases. We never rid ourselves of this insidious disease. We can only “stay” in recovery by hard work and the application of the tools we have available to us. Many times my brain tends to wonder if the people who shy away from the topic might be those that question their own addictive behaviors. We all have them. We just don’t seem to want to talk about them much. Thinking of the many types of addictions such as food, sex, gambling etc., one would think that we would be fairly open to conversing about them with friends.
It was especially hurtful to me that when I finally had the courage to go social with my recovery on Facebook that so few of my friends even commented back about my website. This site is for me, one of those tools that helps me focus on my daily program. It is well known that an addict cannot keep what he or she has, unless they in some way give back to others. There again, I can almost bet that my friends were “talking about me”, just not “with me”.
Thinking about it, would it be such a bad idea if everyone decided to give something of themselves to others? Perhaps it would be a much nicer world.
I am not sure what I expected. Expectations can get us into more trouble than anything else if we allow them to. I believed perhaps that the friends that have known me for years might have some questions for me or maybe just a “nice job” would suffice. I must give credit to those few that did step up and do just that, and I thank you. It meant more to me than you will ever know.
I suppose that there will just always be stigmas in this world. The dictionary defines stigma as “a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one’s reputation”. Certainly, in my active addiction I “stained my reputation” as well as hurting a lot of people along the way. Today I am doing everything in my power, along with the help of a Higher Power, to make amends as best that I can and hopefully at some point in time I will return to having a reputation as a truly good and honorable person.
The road is a very long road but I truly believe that it is making me a stronger, more caring and more giving individual. The path to recovery would be just a little softer if those whom I consider friends would be open minded enough to simply talk to me about that path.
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