An adventure in America, New Jersey actually.

A Saturday morning found us going to Perkins for breakfast, my son-in-law's comment “Dad this breakfast is even too big for you!” An obvious challenge I accepted, he knew I had a good appetite and thought this place would have me beat.

Arriving at the restaurant it was nothing like we have here, and after being seated a wonderful girl took our drinks order and left us to look through the menu. This alone was bigger than any that I had seen at home, with so many choices. Sitting behind my daughter, with her back to me was an old woman, I thought her at least ninety, all alone placing her order.

An item caught my eye, an omelette with a side order of flap jacks. This sounded delicious and as it was a three egg omelette it no way could it be too big for me to devour. Our drinks arrived, mine a coke “bottomless” the lass said, bottomless? I had a bottom and hers wasn't half bad, not sure what she was referring to, so I kept my mouth shut. Taking our order, I thought this lass was a robot, she rattled off all sorts of things to which I had no comprehension. Luckily my daughter seemed to understand her and told her what I would want. You see, I'm semi deaf and an American accent or drawl, although I love the sound of it, difficult to understand when she talked so fast.

In the interim the old women's food arrived, looked like the same as I had ordered, an omelette and a side of flap jacks. This looked too small, I'm was going to suffer from hunger after my meal, but my choice, and I would have to live with it. Our meal arrived, what placed in front of me, not what the old women had got. Three eggs? I knew they did things big in America, but I was not aware the chickens where also bigger. This was a plate full, an omelette filled with ham, cheese, gherkins and I can't remember what else. How pleased I was the lass had forgotten my flap jacks, not to worry I was not going to remind her. No she hadn't, place beside me was a plate with four of the biggest flap jacks I'd seen. “Honey, Syrup, blue berry jam?” she asked, not to seem over whelmed “Honey thanks” my answer.

Now my wife makes me flap jacks at home, two-inch diameter, two bites and its gone, these filled the plate, eight inch at least and almost three-quarter thick. Not to appear over whelmed, I dug in, here came the lass, convinced she was coming to reclaim at least half the flap jacks, I gave her a smile. “Got it wrong?” I wanted to ask, but no, she refilled my coke. When this originally delivered, it seemed at least a half-gallon, and here she was refilling it. I wasn't sure I was capable of finishing the first glass forget the second. From then on during the rest of the meal any time she came near, I placed my hand over the top of the glass to make sure she couldn't fill it again.

The meal finally over, I, not beaten, although not sure how I was to stand, looked at the bill, $4.50 for my meal. Our exchange rate at that time was R10.50 to the dollar, this was still cheap in any man's language. As we readied to leave, I noticed the old woman just ahead of us, shame, bent and walking with a stick, I felt sorry for her and wanted to offer to pay for her meal. “No you don't” my wife said “she'll think you're a pervert or something.” talked out of it, we followed her to the counter and paid after she had done hers. “Look under ten dollars.” I told my wife when I noticed what she paid. My son-in-law paid ours and we followed the old dame out.

I really felt I should aid her to her car, I'm that type of guy, but Linda had a hold of my hand “We're in a foreign country, what do you think she's going to think?” my restraining order whispered to me. I watched as she trundled to her car, my-oh-my, she climbed into a Corvette a two-seater, top down and with a roar of the exhausts she shot out of the parking lot. “Look at that!” I shouted above the roar of the pipes, “She could have paid for my breakfast, the old rich Dame”.

If there is a car I would giver my false teeth for, it's a Corvette, she had dropped the top and with grey hair blowing in the wind, she was gone from my life. I regretted not helping her, and told my wife so, “What? she's got more than us” Linda's retort. “Yea, but I might have scored a car when she dies” my reply.