I’m going to make a big assumption here...if you are reading this article you are already suspicious that your husband might be cheating on you. I am sorry for your pain and the best thing that you can do to take charge of this situation is to determine if there is indeed evidence of cheating or if you are just being paranoid and overreacting.

So how do you know if your spouse is cheating? What you need to know is that the old stereotypes of catching a cheating spouse by finding lipstick on their collar or finding hotel receipts in their pocket are outdated. New technology has made it easier for people to cheat, but the good news is that in many cases, it has also made it easier to catch a spouse. So a cheating spouse’s first best friend is their cell phone.

Ask yourself this - do you have access to your spouse’s cell phone? When they come home from work do they throw it on the kitchen counter with their keys or is their cell phone never out of their pocket or purse? Is your only chance to get ahold of it when they are in the shower? Not a good sign. When you get to their cell phone can you check their texts and calls, or is their phone password protected? Ask to borrow your spouse’s cell phone and see if their anxiety level increases.

If you can check your spouse’s cell phone here’s what suspicious activity looks like. First off, if there are repeated calls, texts and maybe even photos of a person you don’t know on their phone then not only is your spouse cheating but they want to get caught. Even teenagers know how to cover their tracks better than that! If all recent call and text history is cleared then be suspicious. If they have a smart phone with internet access and emails and internet browsing history is also always cleared then this is a warning sign. Most people won’t list their lover by their name. They will take the name of someone who legitimately be in their phone (for example a friend you know) and list a new number for them such as John cell, John home, John work etc. If there are suspicious numbers that have been repeatedly called you can find many websites where for a small fee you can type in the suspicious number and it will trace it for you telling you to whom it belongs.

A cheating spouse’s second best friend is a little less obvious and might not by itself arouse suspicion. What I’m talking about is a gym membership.

A new gym membership goes beyond simply allowing your spouse to get a younger, sexier body for their new lover, although that might also be the case. Think about the advantages of a gym membership. “ Going to the gym” gives your spouse the ultimate alibi. They are going to be gone a couple of hours. They are going to come home showered (not smelling of intimacy or their lover). You can’t reach them while they are there (“I leave my phone in the locker”). Their locker might also be where they keep the second “dating” cell phone that you don’t know exists. Do you know how many miles the gym is from your spouse’s work or your house? Check the odometer of their car when they get home and see if the facts add up. Suggest you join the same gym and that you start working out together and see if your spouse starts to sweat for all the wrong reasons. A new gym membership should send up warning signals for those who suspect they are married to cheating wives or cheating husbands.

So there are two easy ways to tell if your spouse is cheating. There are many other ways to catch wives or husbands who cheat but these two are a good place to start.