Cheating is the number one cause of relationships and it can often be seen as the last straw. Most people will not forgive a cheater as they feel as though all trust has gone and that their foundation has been blown from beneath them. Is this really the case though? Think about the couples that you know yourself. How many times have you seen someone take back their partner after they repeatedly cheat on them? Of course this is no way to have a healthy relationship, cheating is just plain wrong. However, this example should show you that getting back together after cheating is possible.

The reality of the situation is that recovering from infidelity can often be easier than you might think. There may be a number of factors that contribute to your ex wanting to give your relationship another chance, but it's likely that all those reasons are buried under a lot of negative emotion like betrayal, anger and bitterness.

Understanding Your Ex's State of Mind

Knowing how to repair a relationship that has ended due to infidelity is dependant on your ex's state of mind, and it is probably constantly changing. The initial stages are all emotion-based, and often consist of anger, rage or betrayal fueled by your infidelity. Later on, however, these fiery emotions fade and are often replaced with loneliness and sadness - and they are most likely missing you something awful.

These later emotional stages are the optimal time for you to approach your ex. Right after you've been caught is probably not the best time to try and reconcile a broken relationship - especially since you were in the wrong and was caught being unfaithful. No matter what you say in the anger phase, it will only inflame the situation more, and can probably make an already bad situation worse. The more you try to repair your relationship in the beginning stages of anger, the less likely it is that you will succeed and successfully repair your relationship.

Use Their Existing Feelings

Cheating, contrary to popular belief, may have a light at the end of the tunnel. Many romantic relationships end because a couple has drifted away from one another and become distant. Maybe it ended due to constant fighting, or the inability to resolve conflict. When a relationship ended due to an instance of infidelity, it is likely that it ended prematurely, and there is a very good chance that your ex still had strong feelings for you when it was all said and done - that's why the infidelity hurt them so bad.

When your ex left you, in essence they were forced to due to a bad situation. They broke up with you suddenly because of a mistake that you made. They didn't stop to think about what life without you would be like. Breaking things off with a significant other is a natural reaction to discovering unfaithfulness. Cheating made for an instant breakup - one that was never fully considered prior to it happening.

The positive side of this bad situation is that your ex probably had a lot of feelings for you that were not properly resolved. In the beginning they may be cursing the ground you walk upon and wishing you all sorts of horrible fates, but they're angry - and they have a right to be. Underneath all of those negative feelings are some sincere feelings that didn't just disappear because you were unfaithful. Those feeling still exist - and it is possible to bring them back.

Forgiveness

Moving forward after infidelity is a long and difficult process and cannot be accomplished overnight. It is imperative, however, to truly find forgiveness and make it possible to wipe the slate clean completely. Not doing so almost always means your renewed relationship is doomed to fail. Wiping the slate clean doesn't mean pretending that the cheating never happened. It doesn't stick the mistake in the closet and never thinking about it again. Wiping the slate clean is the opposite - it's bringing the truth of the matter out in the open, talking about it and dealing about it all at one time and then making a joint, mutual decision to put it behind you and move on for the sake of your potential relationship.

Unless you can both mutually agree to put it in the past and leave it there, chances are your ex will always find a way to punish you for it. You will have to deal with it, off and on, for the rest of your time together. And with that kind of pressure placed on a relationship, it is almost impossible to succeed. Unless you give your ex the time to process and work through their own feelings towards you and your infidelity by giving them time alone, they will never be able to personally accept what happened and will be unable to rationally justify giving your relationship another shot. As much against your instinct as it may be, there are times where a simple and sincere apology is best - followed by walking away, and allowing them the time to process their own thoughts and feelings. Your ex will never start the process of forgiveness and never be able to start missing you and the relationship you had if you don't give them the space to do so.

While forgiving someone for infidelity is never an easy process, it is a possible one. When approaching a situation of this magnitude where such heated emotions are present, it is imperative to have a game plan prior to making your first move. Make a step by step plan, but accept that it may not go the way you want it to - and that's okay. Knowing what to do and when to do it is a vital part of this process.

The Next Step

Before making any move, it is important for you to realize that if your ex is truly over you and is moving on, pursuing them is worthless. Reading the signs ex is over you is a good place to start with this. Yes, you cheated, but you can still get back together after cheating, it is all about knowing the right moves to make.

You have to understand where they're at mentally and emotionally in order to stand a change. In order to successfully get your ex back, the trick is to allow your ex to miss you - make them curious about you. Proven techniques have shown that in order to reconnect, it is vital that your ex believe that it is their idea - not yours.