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So your spouse/partner cheated on you? Now you are coping with an affair and the aftermath of it. What do you do now? How will you move on? Can you ever trust your partner again? You need to give the relationship some time to heal and get feelings figured out.
Being able to heal from an affair is difficult. Both parties need to agree that they want to move on and work together towards the future. If your spouse cheated on you and feels like the relationship is over, you trying to work on it by yourself is not going to work. The affair has to have ended. With the affair still going on, this only shows the commitment the cheater has given to you.
After an affair, there is going to be a healing time for both parties. Fixing the relationship overnight will not work. Each of you needs time to think on your own and come to grip with your true feelings. And you will both get to the point where you will need to talk to each other about your feelings of the affair. Believe it or not, even the cheater will have some obstacles to get over and feelings that need to be heard.
When coping with an affair, you will need to accept that the affair happened. That was in the past and it cannot be changed, no matter how much someone wishes they can take it back. Try not to bring up the affair in any negative way. This may not sound possible because it is such a huge and negative thing that happened. When bringing up the affair in a negative way, it blocks the healing for both parties.
Try to spend more time together. And that time should be quality time where you communicate. A lot of the time when one partner goes outside of the relationship, it is because they are missing something in the relationship they are in. If they are able to communicate that with their partner, usually the partner will fill the void. Spending time together (in a positive way) and communicating are two very important things that will help your relationship heal.
Coping with an affair is very difficult and not a pleasant thing to do, but something that happens more than you would think. Working together is possible and healing together can happen. Time and communication are major in the healing process.
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