This Article is About
getting over an affair
hard time
nbsp
few days
marriage
relationship
Having A Hard Time Getting Over An Affair - Need Some Questions Answered?
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Are you having a hard time getting over an affair that your partner or spouse had?  This is very common for most people that have discovered the fact that their spouse has had an affair.

It is possible that you feel that you need to sit down with your spouse and discuss what has happened concerning the affair.  You may have some questions that you feel that you need answers to.

Before you sit down with your partner and have a discussion, you should sit down and think a few things through.  You will want to stop and think about exactly what questions that you feel need to be answered.  Write down the questions so you will know exactly what you want to say, and you will not forget anything.

You want to make sure that you really do need this information from your partner about the affair.  In the questions you want to ask, make sure that you go over them for a few days and that it is information that you really need. 

There are some things that you really do not need to know, and it may make things worse if you question your partner about them.  Your partner may feel that there are some things concerning the affair that they had, that you definitely do not need to know, and he may refuse to discuss certain aspects of it with you.  This is not your spouse trying to be mean, it is just that it could damage the marriage or relationship more than it would help either of you.  You both are trying to heal yourselves as well as your relationship, you do not want it to regress due to disclosure of certain unnecessary facts .

If you definitely decide that there are some questions that you would like to have the answers to, then you need to understand that you will not be able to get through the pain that the affair has caused you by simply finding out all of the details of the affair.

There are some questions that you should refrain from asking your partner, such as comparison questions.  You should not basically force them to answer questions that will compare you to the person that they had the affair with.  The affair is over and you do not need your partner to start comparing you to what the other person was like.

That could be stuff that you will regret knowing, will be extremely difficult, if not impossible to put out of your head.  You just don't want to open that can of worms.

What you need to do is ask a few questions that will help you understand just how serious the affair was.  You need to ask questions that will reassure you that your partner is being completely honest with you, and show that your partner is loyal to you.  Showing you that they are being totally honest and loyal to you will help you in coming to terms with your own feelings about the affair.

Just make sure that you really do need to talk about the affair.  Discussing it may only cause all of your emotions that you have gained control over, to erupt again.  This may cause your relationship to take a slide backwards, but if you are both determined to get through the discussion, any ground that you lose will be quickly regained.

To learn more about healing both you and your partner and your marriage or relationship, please check out the Marriage Sherpa at:  http://after-the-affair-surviving.blogspot.com


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Steps to Getting Over an Affair to Avoid Any Relationship Trust Issues After
Relationship trust issues usually are created after finding out a spouse wasn't being faithful. To avoid these issues you may want to consider taking steps to getting over an affair. Not avoiding trust issues can only result in taking a chance of repeating your relationships ending in an affair in…
By: Roy D. Holtz in  Relationships  >  Affairs   May 02, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Hard Time Fixing Up Your Home? Try These Great Ideas!
Its always not easy if you would like to redecorate your your but sometimes it is the use of creative ideas to help improve a new look for your home. Luckily, there are alot of creative ideas that one can use to improve the home designs. As long with some…
By: Bernard Hoa in  Home Improvement  >  Interior Design and Decorating   Dec 05, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Having A Hard Time Choosing A Suitable Tripod?
Choosing the right tripod can be quite a headache. There are tons of outstanding products out there, showing off their great features and capabilities in order to excite your temptations towards making a purchase. All these blandishing would eventually give you a headache as you can’t make a decision. Well…
By: jack reach in  Shopping and Product Reviews   Jun 06, 2013  
1
  Likes: 3

Right Or Wrong - Who's Side Are You On?
We have all been taught right from wrong, well hopefully. We all should understand how to be a decent respectful person. When you have to choose someones side in an issue it should be based on what has happen not who they are, it should be based on what you…
By: Julie Larralde in  Self Improvement  >  Personal Growth   Apr 12, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Waking Up Your Kids Has Never Been so Easy
Waking up your kids- it has never been so easy Getting up in the morning is not fun! I think that 99% of you will agree with this fact. Not only that it is not fun for us, I am sure that is the same regarding to our children. Basically…
By: Barry Gur in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 25, 2011  
1
  Likes: 2

EBook Creation – 7 Crucial Steps You Need To Know Before You Write Your eBook
EBook creation requires planning. You may have read some information out there saying that you can write an eBook in just a few hours and have it ready to go the next day. Well, while that might be possible if you have already a dozen eBooks to your name out…
By: Sylviane Nuccio in  Internet and Businesses Online  >  E Books   Aug 11, 2011  
2
  Likes: 2

How Do I Forgive Myself for Breaking His Heart?
You broke up with your boyfriend and it broke his heart. You never meant to hurt him but the relationship just wasn't working for you. You thought it would be better to end it now rather than dragging things on and on. Now he's hurting and you're having a hard…
By: T Dub Jackson in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 23, 2011  
0
  Likes: 4

Pleasing People Can Be Hazardous
There are two different types of people on this Earth, one who pleases others and one who is pleased by others. I am mainly going to discuss the pleaser because this is what I know more about. That person you know you can call and they never tell you no…
By: Julie Larralde in  Self Improvement  >  Inspirational   Jul 20, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

How to Lose Weight Fast Or Quick
Do you have an issue with the extra body fat you are carrying around? Have you ever sat there and wondered "How To Lose Weight Fast?" Do you have an event or maybe a date that is coming up and has you trying to figure out, how to lose weight…
By: Tony Santoro in  Health and Fitness  >  Weight Loss   Dec 11, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Wow Leveling addon
Are you having a hard time leveling up in world of warcraft and could use a wow leveling addon to speed up your leveling process a bit? The first character you level up is always the most fun, And after that every single character that you are going to level…
By: Morten Vaage in  Gaming  >  Online Gaming   Apr 11, 2011  
1
  Likes: 1

Advantage Of Hiring A San Jose Tree Removal Service
Most people would have a hard time dealing with their trees and they opt to have it removed rather than experiencing a lot of problems with it. They often hire a San Jose tree service provider since it makes the removal process a lot easier and faster. So what are…
By: Eric Casas in  Home Improvement   Mar 02, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

I Completed The 30 In 30 Challenge at Street Articles
Wow, as I sit here and reflect at just how much my life has changed since Kyle at Street Articles sent me an e mail inviting me to join and take the challenge. Well, I did join and today I completed the 30 in 30 Challenge at Street Articles. What…
By: Shawn Lee  in  Internet and Businesses Online  >  Internet Marketing   Mar 13, 2013  
128
  Likes: 42

My Ex Boyfriend Dumped Me But I Want Him Back, What Should I Do Now?
Things to Consider if you Want Your ex Back You might be one of those that went through a relationship crisis which came to a turbulent end as your boyfriend dumped you. You may still feel that there is still something you both have together and can still have together…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Oct 20, 2012  
26
  Likes: 4

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - Love, Hate, Reconcile
Remember that not everyone falls in love and not everyone happens to be loved; it is one great feeling to be able to experience love than to have never been lived it. After acknowledging this, there’s no harm in trying to get your ex back. Make up your mind, take…
By: Sevgi2 in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Sep 09, 2012  
4
  Likes: 0

Dealing With Love - Getting My Ex Back
Is it really hard to deal with a break up? Or do we make it harder than what it seems? I guess this is one of those themes where you can be right or you can be wrong depending on where you are standing. Depending on the type of person…
By: Daniel10 in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Dec 23, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 3965    Report this Article