This Article is About
emotions
having an affair
bad stuff
disapproval
atrocity
infidelity
no doubt
flare
guilt
excuse
How Do I Cope With My Emotions Immediately After My Wife Had An Affair?
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

How Do I Cope With My Emotions Immediately After My Wife Had An Affair?

No doubt, one of the most challenging periods to go through as a husband, is finding out that your wife had an affair. The emotions that you are feeling right now are paralyzing to say the least. Is it better to keep these feelings inside and hope they go away on their own, or is it better to bring them out into the open? Let's discuss how best you can cope with your emotions.

~ Whose Fault?

Depending on the situation in your marriage, leading up to your wife having an affair, you may feel a little guilt or responsibility for your wife's infidelity. Let me make this clear; unless you gave her explicit instructions to sleep around, this affair is her fault and hers alone. Yes, she made the decision to be intimate with another guy and tried to keep it under your radar indefinitely.

~ Keep My Feelings or Express Them?

The natural reaction taken by men immediately after finding out that their wife had an affair is to express their bitter feelings. So should you. You have every right to be furious, sad, and it would only make things worse if you pretend to be unaffected by the affair. It would only serve to make you resent your wife even more if you keep your feelings bottled up.

So what you do is openly express how you feel towards your wife. Let her see whatever emotions you are experiencing. Vent your feelings and express your strong disapproval of her affair, and how it's affecting your relationship, family etc.

~ Other Bad Stuff She Did

You may want to use this opportunity to express your disapproval of any other clandestine actions your wife may have taken before the affair. The things she did, knowing they were against what your marriage stood for. The things she thought you wouldn't have noticed.

~ Two Wrongs = Wrong

Of course, just because your wife had an affair recently, it does not give you an excuse to commit the same atrocity with another woman, as a way to make it even with your wife. That would make you look just as bad, if not worse.

Your temper is sure to flare after your wife's affair, but do not become a wife beater here. As corny as that sounds, it's true. If you and your wife have kids, they are going to look at you as the only bad guy in all of this. Also, there are other consequences that you should be well aware of. Refrain from hitting your wife, or intentionally doing damage to material things at home.

Also refrain from talking about divorce and calling her anything that would bring any haunting memories. In the heat of the moment, you'll be tempted to say things that you don't mean, but try to keep these to a minimum. You're supposed to let out how you truly feel.

~ "What if my wife had an affair several years ago and has now confessed?"

Same as above. When you find out about your wife's affair, you strongly express your feelings and disapproval about her betrayal. Give her a strong tongue lashing. Call her out on her past wrongdoings that you pretended not to notice. If you want to break down and cry, why should you hold back your tears? If you want to scream, let it out.

~ When The Feelings Are Subsiding

These negative emotions you are going through, won't be forever. They will leave you gradually. They may return occasionally with varying intensity, and when that happens, don't keep them bottled up.

~ Healing Yourself & Your Marriage

Eventually, the negative feelings will be mostly replaced by optimistic ones. It pretty much means that you are healing. When you've gotten your emotions under control, you can then focus on making progress after your wife's affair, such as improving your marriage, improving communication etc.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Dealing With Emotions - 3 Best Ways After A Breakup Or Divorce
Emotion is a very deep aspect of our soul that take control of us if we don't know how to control it. Our emotions is so profound that it's the number one reason why folks act crazy, get depressed, get lonely, and be happy. Whatever that is causing your emotions…
By: Saytue Saye1 in  Relationships   Dec 21, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Handle Emotions
Let’s face it; as long as you are not a robot or some mechanical machine, every human is born with emotions. Emotions control how we feel, how we act and how we communicate with one another. Although there are some emotions which are less positive than others, one must learn…
By: elson in  Reference and Education  >  Online Education   Apr 19, 2012  
1
  Likes: 2

The Love Bomb Balm Will Heal Sore Emotions
Love is balm for scraped knees and hurt minds. You can never overuse this good medicine, and it is therapeutic in every situation. Love bomb everybody, your children, your neighbors, Mr. Grouchy at the corner grocery store and Ms. Snippet at the bank. See how it transforms them. Love bomb…
By: Joan S in  Self Improvement  >  Happiness   Apr 24, 2011  
4
  Likes: 8

Let Your Emotions Run Free
Dear Readers, The past three years have been filled with painful experiences and a whole lot of personal learning. I want to think that I have grown and learned from these experiences and that I can share this hard-way-learned-knowledge with you in order to avoid you some possible heart-ache. My…
By: Dr. Maya-Willi in  Relationships  >  Divorce   Jul 07, 2011  
0
  Likes: 2

Breaking Up Isn't the End - How To Get Control of Your Emotions and Reconnect With Her After The Breakup
I know you’re feeling terrible after your breakup, but I’m here to tell you: It isn’t the end of the world. You might feel as though you have no hope of getting your ex girlfriend, or even your life, for that matter, back on the right track. But these are…
By: Max Grimnar in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Aug 25, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Emotions After Birth And Postpartum Depression
It is presumed that the instant joy at seeing your baby for the first time continues and quickly turns into a deep feeling of love for your newborn. For some new mothers this is true but for others the deep bond between them and their baby can take time to…
By: Harry Dubois in  Home and Family  >  Motherhood   Jun 07, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Win Back An Ex – A Solid Plan
Even if the two of you were fighting, a breakup is still very stressful and not something anyone wants to go through. What makes it worse is when you still have feelings for your ex and you want to get back together. Unfortunately, we aren’t really taught how to win…
By: Lacey Wolf in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jul 24, 2012  
6
  Likes: 3

Make Your Ex Jealous - Is It A Good Idea?
Find out if making your ex jealous is a good idea and learn how to ignite the passion in them that they once had for you. Follow these key principles in this article. We often resort to jealousy to find out whether our ex still has feelings for us, this…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 25, 2012  
0
  Likes: 8

So What is Self Talk?
It’s the words or that running dialogue you have in your head. It’s what you say to yourself when you have challenges, or when you’re describing the experiences in your life. You must realize the power your words have and the effect they have in your life and choose them…
By: Leo Emery in  Self Improvement  >  Mind Development   Jul 23, 2012  
2
  Likes: 1

How To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back - Crucial Steps
Breaking up can be hard, and trying to get the relationship back can be equally difficult. Before attempting to try to get your ex boyfriend back, you first need to stop and figure out the things you need to do in order to make him want you again. Whether he…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Jul 26, 2012  
121
  Likes: 4

Healthy Relationship Tips for You
I have some good healthy relationship tips for you! If you have been looking around for some good tips and you failed short of your goal then you have to read more on this. I know what it is like not to have a good relationship, but you know you…
By: kendrick in  Relationships  >  Love   Jan 13, 2015  
0
  Likes: 3

How Can I Win Her Love Back - 5 Strategies To Win Back Lost Love
Dear Kurt How can I win her back? Here's what happened. We'd been going out for about 6 months and everything was going smooth and our relationship was starting to get a little more serious. Then out of no where she broke up with me. I was totally shocked and…
By: Kurt Foulks in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Oct 24, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend to Want You Back
You have broken up your ex boyfriend, and now you want to make him want you again. Most likely, you are going through an emotional roller-coaster. Well, what you need to do is to control your emotions and stop getting irritate. If you just want to make your ex boyfriend…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Mar 06, 2012  
9
  Likes: 4

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - Smart Tips
Are you struggling from a failed relationship? You both love each other so much, but he suddenly gave up? Was your relationship perfect then, suddenly everything has changed? Are you just going to give up and do nothing? Or you want to start over and get your ex boyfriend back?…
By: Sevgi2 in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Sep 19, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

4 Hidden Signs To Look For In Order To Get Back With Your Boyfriend
Nowadays when it seems that every couple is breaking up, it’s hard to keep believing in true love. Just when you thought you found the perfect guy who will be there forever, suddenly everything seems to fall apart and he tells you he wants to break up. If you are…
By: Lucas Heart in  Relationships  >  Conflict   May 05, 2011  
0
  Likes: 2

Article Views: 4363    Report this Article