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how to survive an affair
unresolved anger
emotional strain
emotional issues
inadequacies
cheaters
resentment
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How To Survive An Affair In Marriage Putting Everyone Else’s Feelings Before Your Own
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To survive an affair in marriage you may have to overcome a common problem first; taking care of your own problems before dealing with the affair and other problems caused by the affair.

When the scorned wife or betrayed husband puts everyone else’s feelings before his/her own, certain emotional issues can go unresolved. This usually results in the victim of an affair (the spouse who was cheated on) having resentment and unresolved anger bottled up inside that can come out later.

Let's face it that some of us have a very strong sense of family as part of our core values. If this is you then you may make sure everyone else’s needs are taken care of before your own. This is a good way to be but in certain situations you need to take care of your own needs first.

If you have recently discovered your spouse has cheated on you, the turmoil and emotional strain can injure your self-esteem and lower your confidence causing you to not trust your own decisions. It is first important that you take care of your emotional issues and regain what the affair has taken first. Otherwise you will be no good to yourself or anyone else you try to help.

Another thing that can happen is you could stay married and try to forgive. The problems still exist that created the enviroment that lead to your spouse cheating. And the bottle up anger and inadequacies start coming out. The marriage will last maybe a couple of years but eventually end in dicorce. Nothing will be learned from the affair.

Even if you do divorce after the affair, you coulld carry the same bottled up anger and inadaquacies with you to the next relationship and any after that.

It is just better to survive an affair in marriage, get rid of all the bottled up anger and inadaquacies, get to the problem that created the cheaters inviroment in the marriage, and work on creating the right enviroment that won't let the cheating happen again.

Here is a basic outline of how it would look to survive an affair in marraige

1. Find ways to minimize and manage your own painful emotions. (Work on repairing your emotional injuries caused by your spouse’s infidelity. This will allow you to make the best decisions about everything and person concerned)

2. Come to an understanding of how the affair came about being. (Did you create an atmosphere for the affair to take place? Is your spouse just a selfish person?)

3. Reach an explicit informal decision about how to move forward with the marriage (repair or end the marriage, how to explain it to the children, and how to create stronger relationships in the future).

In order to surviving an affair in marriage, putting everyone else’s needs before your own can cause problems later. The affair can cause emotional injuries that need to be taken care of first. Then questions need answered before you can help everyone else involved. It just make sense to put things in order so you can heal in a healthy way.


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