This Article is About
how to survive an affair
unresolved anger
emotional strain
emotional issues
self esteem
How To Survive An Affair In Marriage Putting Everyone Else’s Feelings Before Your Own
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

To survive an affair in marriage you may have to overcome a common problem first; taking care of your own problems before dealing with the affair and other problems caused by the affair.

When the scorned wife or betrayed husband puts everyone else’s feelings before his/her own, certain emotional issues can go unresolved. This usually results in the victim of an affair (the spouse who was cheated on) having resentment and unresolved anger bottled up inside that can come out later.

Let's face it that some of us have a very strong sense of family as part of our core values. If this is you then you may make sure everyone else’s needs are taken care of before your own. This is a good way to be but in certain situations you need to take care of your own needs first.

If you have recently discovered your spouse has cheated on you, the turmoil and emotional strain can injure your self-esteem and lower your confidence causing you to not trust your own decisions. It is first important that you take care of your emotional issues and regain what the affair has taken first. Otherwise you will be no good to yourself or anyone else you try to help.

Another thing that can happen is you could stay married and try to forgive. The problems still exist that created the enviroment that lead to your spouse cheating. And the bottle up anger and inadequacies start coming out. The marriage will last maybe a couple of years but eventually end in dicorce. Nothing will be learned from the affair.

Even if you do divorce after the affair, you coulld carry the same bottled up anger and inadaquacies with you to the next relationship and any after that.

It is just better to survive an affair in marriage, get rid of all the bottled up anger and inadaquacies, get to the problem that created the cheaters inviroment in the marriage, and work on creating the right enviroment that won't let the cheating happen again.

Here is a basic outline of how it would look to survive an affair in marraige

1. Find ways to minimize and manage your own painful emotions. (Work on repairing your emotional injuries caused by your spouse’s infidelity. This will allow you to make the best decisions about everything and person concerned)

2. Come to an understanding of how the affair came about being. (Did you create an atmosphere for the affair to take place? Is your spouse just a selfish person?)

3. Reach an explicit informal decision about how to move forward with the marriage (repair or end the marriage, how to explain it to the children, and how to create stronger relationships in the future).

In order to surviving an affair in marriage, putting everyone else’s needs before your own can cause problems later. The affair can cause emotional injuries that need to be taken care of first. Then questions need answered before you can help everyone else involved. It just make sense to put things in order so you can heal in a healthy way.

Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
How to Survive an Affair? – Get Immediate Advice
Finding out that your spouse is having an affair is never easy, no matter how forgiving you are. The sense of betrayal is just overwhelming and you feel that they are lost to you forever. But it doesn’t have to end like this. There is life in your marriage still…
By: Sausra in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Feb 21, 2011  
  Likes: 0

9 Easy But Useful Tips on How to Survive An Affair And Save Your Relationship
To survive an affair can be a very traumatic experience and can make you feel bitter and resentful. Seeing your partner having a good time with someone else is the most heartbreaking and stressful experience. Some of the common causes of breaking up from a relationship are gambling, alcoholism, mental…
By: Sausra in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Apr 15, 2011  
  Likes: 1

Has Your Husbands Affair Destroyed Your Trust?
How to Restore Trust After Your Husband's Affair Has your husband's affair destroyed your ability to trust him, and perhaps even yourself? Today I would like to share with you a way to restore the trust after your husband’s affair. Knowing that your husband cheated on you is devastating and…
By: kate1 in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Mar 15, 2011  
  Likes: 0

How To Deal With Anger And Prosper
Anger is a very damaging emotion. It is a well researched fact that the majority of cancer patients have unresolved anger issues. Anger issues also stop money flowing to you. EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique and its cousin Micro EFT are one of the most effective ways to with anger.If you…
  Likes: 0

Why Your Female Friends Are Sabotaging Your Chances of Getting Him Back After Separation
If you're feeling despair, or just that terrible empty feeling when your husband is not home, I can totally understand this. Losing someone we love, even just in a separation, is extremely difficult. You are not alone. Countless women separate from their husbands and have to deal with the trials…
By: Max Grimnar in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Sep 02, 2011  
  Likes: 0

How to Fix a Breakup – 6 Tips on How to Fix a Breakup
The Sadness of the Break Up Break ups can be one of the saddest times of someone's life. Though nowadays break ups seem more and more common, it's still difficult to accept. After all you’re still thinking about your ex and this hurts badly. You start wondering what happened and…
By: JW Penn in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   May 13, 2011  
  Likes: 11

Failures And Forgiveness In Marriage
We knew we have inadequacies, weaknesses and failures but we find it hard to believe that we willfully offend God, the spouse we love, or the people who are dear to us. It is unpleasant to admit that we hate, envy, selfish and pride, but this is a part of…
By: cecille bacal in  Relationships  >  Marriage   May 01, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Strategies to Get Your Ex Back!
So… You’ve come here, looking for a solution on how to get your ex back, have you? Look no further. We’ve compiled all the best tips, all the greatest pieces of advice, every kind of strategy imaginable used by men and women to get their love life straightened up! We…
By: Michael Fiore in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Apr 08, 2016  
  Likes: 0

Surviving Infidelity – How Strong is Your Marriage?
Is your marriage strong enough to survive infidelity? Most people have no idea what the answer to that question will be until it's happening to them. Is surviving infidelity your primary mission in life at the moment? When it's happening to you, it does tend to consume your every waking…
By: T Dub Jackson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Mar 07, 2011  
  Likes: 1

How to Tell If You Wife is Cheating on You
Has your sixth sense ever given you the feeling your wife is being unfaithful in your marriage? Has your wife ever acted funny or said something around another man that gave you a feeling she may be cheating on you? If you answered yes to either of these questions you…
By: Bob Cobb in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Jan 24, 2013  
  Likes: 1

“Infidelity in Marriage – Cheating Spouses – Do You Want To Catch Them”
Think about this for a moment…. after long, hard hours at work for the past two weeks. Your boss calls you into their office and as you are thinking what have I done now. Your boss congratulates you on a job well done. The reward for this is; a substantial…
By: R. A. Rountree in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Apr 10, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Signs Of Cheating You May Not Know About
The signs of cheating can either be as blatant as finding someone’s name and number, or as subtle as a routine change. Either way, if your gut is telling you there’s something going on then you need to know what to look for before you start making accusations. Most of…
By: Lola May in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Apr 01, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Is It Possible To Survive a Relationship After Infidelity? Yes, Although It Is Not So Easy
Relationships demand care and attention. If either of the factors is not present in a relation, the strength of relation gets wrecked. It is very important and yet difficult to support a relationship with best practices of desired time, strength and devotion. Both members of a couple must play an…
By: Sausra in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Feb 25, 2011  
  Likes: 0

When We Recovered From An Affair,we Will Be In A New Normal
If you think that what I write is an overdramatization of infidelity than you have a very long way ahed of you. It will be a long journey with a lots of bumps in the road. It will be the rollercoaster of a lifetime. An affair changes who you are…
By: aniko in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Sep 19, 2011  
  Likes: 1

Article Views: 2304    Report this Article