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Infidelity has been known to threaten the success of marriage and when it occurs, each tends to blame the other party making it a difficult task in mending the family. Adultery is seen as a major mistake in matrimony which may cause irreparable harm that could lead in divorce. However, some couples always want to make their marriage work. For them to rise above mistakes, they need to come out and confess about their wrong deeds as the way to healing. A marriage counselor or a friend of the couple can come in and help in the situation. They will be a mediator by not expressing their opinions on who is at fault. They judge the case with the notion that every story has two sides and that both sides must be evaluated to draw any conclusions. Confession is a painful and humiliating experience but it should be done by every couple finding their way back to successful living.
Tips on how to survive infidelity are:
1. Take a brief backward look.
After the confession, the person at fault should have the will to turn over a new leaf. This will always be effective if the innocent party cooperates in rebuilding his partners shattered ego. The transgressor will ask for forgiveness and at this time will take a backward, clear look. He or she should then train themselves to forget the incident. There will be pains of self condemnation at this time but he should rehearse thoroughly with positive circumstances to enable him to discern the cause and effect relationship. He or she will realize what this weakness of character was, and then with a determined and deeper insight, he or she will bring about healing and a stronger relationship with his or her spouse.
2. Be positive and don't let circumstances repeat.
The most important step on how to survive infidelity is to avoid any further association with the third party involved in the indiscretion. After the confession, a person may wrestle with their own doubts whether they are strong enough to resist temptation should it come to them again with added appeal. Doubts may come since self confidence may be shattered and also question whether the partner in marriage would manifest confidence in them when he or she may lack it their self. It is also wise for the couple to check and analyze their association with friends of weak character who may bring about their immoral conduct.
3. Develop courage.
When a person turns over a new leaf, they realize their character was not strong as they thought it to be, making them more discouraged. Having asked for forgiveness, he or she should then discipline their thoughts by not allowing them to dwell in the past. Their attention should be directed to the present and the future. The innocent partner may be-moan when she has been betrayed and may not restore confidence in her partner at once which has been cruelly shattered. In order for a defeated partner to rise above his or her mistakes, the husband and wife must come together to help each other renew their relations as a team. Working united will gradually restore each others confidence since partners can usually encourage one another when both are wanting and willing to make it work.
These are some basic steps to take and things to think about when trying to save your relationship. There are many ways and methods on how to survive an affair. I would advise going to a local counselor or looking for some popular programs online.
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