Extramarital affairs are what is considered to be the ultimate sin in a marriage. In this case, if your husband had an affair, then you will be the one to endure the most suffering. Your husband having an affair with another woman is bad enough, but if she's now pregnant then your marriage has a steep challenge ahead.

You may wonder if there is hope for your marriage after this, but this depends on whether or not you accept that challenge and not give up before you can reach the objective of making your marriage better, while drastically reducing the occurrence of another affair. Let's discuss this in further detail.

The negative feelings, visions, thoughts, and emotions felt upon realizing that your husband had an affair and the paramour's pregnant are simply overwhelming, and does not go away easily. However, you need time to self-heal and maintain composure again before you can work to resolve the issues in your marriage. When getting the truth from your husband, tensions are sure to run high, and it is easy to be consumed by rage or sadness. Because of that, it is best to take all the time you need and get a handle on these feelings first.

Because your husband had an affair, he needs to accept full blame for it. It is his fault, not yours, no matter how he tries to blame it on you. It was his decision. He needs to show empathy and see what you are going through. Besides, he will not like it if you were pregnant with a child that wasn't his. Your husband needs to make it up to you and stop his bad traits like infidelity, dishonesty, disrespect, lack of transparency, and replace them with positive equivalents.

The other woman may not want to let go of your husband for selfish reasons. So she may try to convince everyone involved that your husband is the father of her child. Now it may be true that your husband is actually the father. However, since the affair happened behind your back, the paramour could have had other sexual encounters (unknowing to both you and your husband) going on at the time the affair with your husband was taking place. It's best your husband does a paternity test to confirm whether or not he's the father.

If the baby is in fact his, a marriage can still survive this, but requires unwavering commitment from both spouses to making it work. Being able to survive emotional and physical affairs like this one, takes time. Constructive communication between you two on a regular basis is key. The times ahead will not be easy since compromises will have to be made and some of these you will hate. The paramour may desire that custody be shared with your husband, and either way, your husband may want to play a significant role in the child's life and that will mean communicating with the paramour from time to time.

What matters here is that your husband is being transparent and honest in his day to day dealings from here on and that includes communication with the paramour. Ensure that you are able to monitor whatever methods they communicate and that the topic does not stray from the well being of the child that they share. If going to see the child, try not to let him go alone. Go with him and bring a trusted friend or relative along to get the child if you could. That way you don't have to see the paramour and not have to worry about your husband and the paramour getting alone time.

It is by no means the ideal situation to be in a marriage. For you women wondering, "what you should I do after my husband had an affair and got the paramour pregnant," it is possible for the marriage to survive this if you and your husband are genuinely committed to fixing it. There have been many marriages that have gotten past this ordeal and are stronger than ever today. Hopefully, yours will be the same.