You are probably reading this because the worst has happened. You have caught or are suspecting that your partner is having an affair. You may have been married or together for decades and even have children, but now all that seems like it has been severely tampered with.

Now, you're wondering is it all over? Dealing with something this traumatic is probably the toughest and worst thing a couple can go through. The feelings of being stabbed in the gut, is what most people say, and betrayal consumers your thoughts.

So, will you stay and try to work it out or will you say "no way or how" and leave your partner for good? Lets look over some things to consider to help aid you in your decision.

First, only you and and your partner can make this decision. Do not let the outside people such as your friends and family get to you by telling you what you should or should not do. Are they professionals in surviving an affair matters? More than likely, they are not. The people you care about will of course take your side and try to relate and make you feel better, but they do not know your exact feelings toward this person or your exact living situation or what all you have been through with this person you have loved for so long. Only you know these things so don't take advice from people who are close to you too seriously.

Secondly, get over all the intense emotions before making any definite decisions. It might take weeks or months before you can come to your senses about what to really do and this is perfectly fine! Actually, trying to build back the marriage to begin with is something good to do before making a decision about divorce. If you try working it out and give every chance there is to surviving an affair and it still does not work, then make the decision. Don't just make it based on your emotions and all the pain that you are going through. All this will eventually pass whether you believe that or not and then the time will come where you can make a clear-minded decision.

In the end, it is you and your partner/spouse and only you two that can make this decision. Factors such as your partners willingness to want to make it work also plays a big part. If he/she really wants help and really wants it to work then why not give it a try before throwing all of it away? There is professional help available in the affair program that can help you and your partner get the best help and chance on affair issues.