If you are on the ropes about getting a divorce or not because you found out your partner or spouse is having an affair then I am going to recommend something you probably will not understand just by reading it. Try getting your marriage or relationship back into shape before even considering divorce.

The main reason in doing this is to realize everything you may be giving up if you choose divorce. If you are making this decision because you are emotionally in pain you may regret it later on when you come back to your clear-minded senses. Divorce is not always the answer even when the most terrible thing such as an affair happens.

Now, you may ask "how in the world can I get my marriage back into a decent shape to even be able to try this?" Actually, there is tons of professional help available like counselors, of course, and popular programs like Saving Your Marriage and Surviving An Affair that millions have used and succeeded in getting their marriage back into shape.

If you decide to take this approach then here are some tips:

1. Get your calendar out or whatever you want to write down a date, whether it be a few months or half a year, that you will re-evaluate what you are going to do. Either stay, leave, or wait a little longer if you are still unsure after this certain amount of time passes.

2. During this set amount of time be the best partner or spouse that you can be and of course your partner who cheated on you must do the same. Without a willing partner that also wants it to still work, then this whole idea will be a waste. Since you have a deadline, then this will make both of you give it one last shot that will hopefully be your best effort because of this.

3. Also during this time make sure to agree to not bring up the word "divorce" during this entire time you are together until this set date comes to re-evaluate. Try to act like you normally would and like the relationship is going to last. Be yourselves. Arguing or bringing up the word "divorce" is not going to get your marriage back into shape because if your marriage was already going good you would not ever bring the idea up anyway right?

After you give it the best shot possible and the time comes to discuss and evaluate things, you should be able to make a sober decision not based on emotions. Now making the decision will be made after knowing you got your marriage back into the best shape possible before you done it.

Your marriage may work or it may not. The point is giving it the best shot possible before making a decision that was going to be made solely on pain and emotions. No matter what, you need to seek professional help whether it be a counselor in how to survive an affair or an affair program such as the Surviving An Affair program mentioned. There are actually professional steps to take in Surviving An Affair that can help you have the best chances possible. Millions have made their broken relationships come back together and you can too.