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The 3 Phases For Healing After An Affair
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The 3 Phases for Healing After an Affair

So your spouse cheated on you? You are probably thinking “How in the world am I supposed to get over this?” Healing after an affair is tricky, but possible if you follow the proper steps.

Phase 1- Individual healing

The first phase to healing after an affair is for each individual to heal, individually. Whether you are the cheater or the one cheated on, there is a healing progression that you must go through.

Usually the injured person’s first reaction when affected by betrayal is to look for the causes why the affair took place. You want to know why your partner deceived you and what the details of the affair were. You want to know if you will be able to trust your partner ever again.

People tend to look outside of themselves for answers. If you truly want your relationship to work, they you need to look inside yourself. Stop trying to figure out the other person and be honest with yourself about all of your feelings concerning the affair. There will be the time to look outside and ask the hard questions down the road.

Phase 2- Healing as a couple

After you have worked on yourself and your own thoughts about the affair, it is time to look more closely at the way that you and your partner work together as a couple. You will need to successfully communicate with your partner. After infidelity, communication is strained in the relationship. If you are unable to communicate with your partner, there is no future for the relationship. Good communication is indispensable in every good relationship. In this phase you will also look at whether or not the details of the affair should be discussed. Unless approached properly, this discussion can cause more harm than good.

Phase 3- Negotiating a renewed relationship

You are talking to each other and communicating. Good! Now the focus needs to be on the future and the transformed relationship. This will mean putting time aside to spend with your partner and becoming totally transparent so each of you can work on fully trusting the other. One of the final things you can do is write a relationship contract that outlines how you want the relationship to be and a better future than ever before.

Even though you have the three main stages for healing after an affair, this will take time and commitment. Truly healing from infidelity is something that does not happen overnight. Isn’t your relationship worth taking the time to heal properly?

Healing after an affair is a difficult process, but your relationship is worth it, isn’t it?


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