This Article is About
depression loneliness
anger and fear
surviving an affair
injured spouse
human brain
negative thoughts
emotional pain
infidelity
disarray
mistrust
local library
What Happens Next? 3 Potential Paths To Help You Survive After An Affair
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

After discovering the fact that infidelity has occurred (or is occurring) in a marriage, be it an emotional or physical affair, there is wide range of emotions that one is bound to experience. These include everything from severe sadness, mistrust, and hate to nausea, outright anger, and fear. And the list goes on: rejection, resentment, disarray, depression, loneliness, heartbreak…

Regardless of which emotions and feelings occur, it is important to realize they are all valid – there is an inordinate amount of emotional pain that is inherited upon discovery of any type of affair. Unfortunately, this is complicated by the facts surrounding the infidelity: circumstances and details of how things unfolded. These give rise to negative thoughts and imagery that continue to creep into the injured spouse’s mind. Worse, the human brain is very good at filling in any gaps with varied and likely scenarios making the pain even more constant and impactful.

Through all of the noise and chaos it is helpful to remember that time moves all people forward. And therein lies the key to surviving after an affair – each person must determine how best to move forward, for themselves, their family, and their friends. There is little to no chance of surviving an affair of any form (emotional or physical) unless plans for positive action are made and put in motion.

Respond After An Affair

Foregoing status quo (the act of doing nothing), there are positive options that will help pick up the pieces after an affair has been realized. Three of these options are as follows:

  1. Counseling. Group and one-on-one sessions can be found professionally or through church. These can involve office visits to licensed professionals or through church leadership.
  2. Coursework. The Internet, local library, and even local support groups offer free and paid classes, books, and other materials.
  3. Discussion. On an individual, team, or group basis, this can take place anywhere in the range of formal intervention to informal conversation.

If part of the decided upon after the affair advice involves discussion, it is important to reach a mutual understanding of how much discussion is expected. It sometimes comes as a surprise, but agreeing not to discuss certain topics, or agreeing only to discuss them up to a certain limit, creates the best environment for success.

Whereas some believe that trust can only be reconstructed through a thorough understanding of all details, others find comfort not knowing the most intimate of details surrounding an affair. A form of "managing expectations," this has been shown to be helpful in avoiding the recurrence of negative imagery.

Whichever option is determined to be the best to move forward, it is important to note that the method must allow a way to handle the details of the affair. Further, there is no one path or combination that is proven to be more correct than another. Each course of action works differently and can address (or fail to completely address) the unique circumstances of each individual. It is important that a personal conclusion be made of which path is the most appropriate to take to survive after the affair.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Escaping Depression And Loneliness
I'm writing about a personal approach I've taken to getting out of the downward spiral of depression and loneliness. After almost two decades of trying to treat my depression and find a cure I decided to get on with the life I had been missing. I decided to accept my…
By: maxtc in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Sep 28, 2011  
0
  Likes: 5

At Lake's End
The dark skin of the girl shone in the sun. She used to think she was the lucky one. Don't mind the dirty feet, her torn dress and short hair. She now knows that life didn't treat her very fair. The color of her skin was never the problem. Luckily…
By: Rionel Lee in  Arts and Entertainment  >  Poetry   Jun 24, 2013  
2
  Likes: 2

Enhance Your Quality Of Life: Live Near to Beaches, Parks, And Open Spaces
I have been wondering why the gated golf course communities in the state of Florida are selling like hotcakes. The only things I can think of being the custom real estate luxury homes, the Intracoastal waterways, the sandy beaches, the golf course communities, and the large spaces that allow horses…
By: Ellen Lillian in  Real Estate  >  Green Real Estate   Aug 16, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Surviving An Affair - Dealing With The Mental Images
When you first learn of your spouse cheating on you, the betrayal, the frustration, the anger, and the images all play through your mind at the same time. Probably the worst and the most common problem that the victim faces is the images of the cheater with the other person.…
By: Aaron Stevenson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Dec 15, 2013  
0
  Likes: 3

Surviving An Affair - Do You Know If Your Partner Is Really Cheating?
Does your husband or wife have a close personal friend of the opposite sex? Has this friend always been a friend before you met your wife or husband or has this all just happened recently? If it is the latter, then watch out! If your partner had made some sort…
By: Aaron Stevenson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Dec 15, 2013  
0
  Likes: 1

Surviving An Affair - Divorce The Answer?
So, you have been cheated on or suspect you have been and you are wondering if surviving an affair is possible or should you just throw in the towel and get a divorce? First, divorce might sound like the answer to get away from it all, start over, have a…
By: Aaron Stevenson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Dec 15, 2013  
0
  Likes: 1

Surviving An Affair - Your Marriage Can Actually Be Better
So, the unimaginable has happened. You suspect or have caught your spouse in the act of having an affair. Your first question is probably " Is it even possible to make it through such a gut wrenching crisis?" The great news is surviving an affair is indeed not just a…
By: Aaron Stevenson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Dec 15, 2013  
1
  Likes: 4

Surviving An Affair - Getting Your Marriage Back In Shape
If you are on the ropes about getting a divorce or not because you found out your partner or spouse is having an affair then I am going to recommend something you probably will not understand just by reading it. Try getting your marriage or relationship back into shape before…
By: Aaron Stevenson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Dec 15, 2013  
0
  Likes: 3

Surviving An Affair - Can You Save Your Relationship?
You are probably reading this because the worst has happened. You have caught or are suspecting that your partner is having an affair. You may have been married or together for decades and even have children, but now all that seems like it has been severely tampered with. Now, you're…
By: Aaron Stevenson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Dec 15, 2013  
0
  Likes: 2

Surviving An Affair - Yes You Can Do It
Surviving an affair can seem unimaginable because of everything that is running through your mind. Everytime you see your spouse who done this to you, you replay the thoughts over and over in your mind. The questions of why and how can seem never ending. Finding out that your partner…
By: Aaron Stevenson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Dec 15, 2013  
0
  Likes: 1

Why Are We Always the Last to Know?
Many spouses seem to find out, after everyone else already knows, that their "better half" has been cheating on them. This is humiliating enough but, because most spouses always feel like they should have known somehow, they beat themselves up even more. This is the reason I don't like to…
By: Ken Damon in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Apr 24, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Can Marriages Survive Affairs?
If you are reading this article, you have probably recently found out about infidelity in your marriage. I must apologize. You must be thinking can marriages survive affairs? Is this something that people can actually get over and move on? Surviving an affair is something that isn't easy to do.…
By: R.N. Hatta in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Jan 10, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Dealing with Infidelity in a Marriage
Dealing with infidelity in a marriage is one of those things you think you don’t need to worry about. Your spouse loves you too much to betray his/her commitment to the marriage. But during taking care of the house hold, the kids, and going to work infidelity in marriage is…
By: Roy D. Holtz in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Apr 01, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How To Survive An Affair - The Mistrust Issue
Rebuilding a torn apart relationship that was all because you caught your spouse cheating may seem like impossible to do, but actually millions have done it and their marriage is great. One of the biggest problems is not being able to trust your partner again. To be able to do…
By: Aaron Stevenson in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Dec 15, 2013  
0
  Likes: 1

Strategies to Get Your Ex Back!
So… You’ve come here, looking for a solution on how to get your ex back, have you? Look no further. We’ve compiled all the best tips, all the greatest pieces of advice, every kind of strategy imaginable used by men and women to get their love life straightened up! We…
By: Michael Fiore in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Apr 08, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 1501    Report this Article