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If you think that what I write is an overdramatization of infidelity than you have a very long way ahed of you. It will be a long journey with a lots of bumps in the road. It will be the rollercoaster of a lifetime. An affair changes who you are forever. It will never be the same,YOU will never be the same. It will rob you of your past. It leaves you naked and alone,its truly hell on earth. It strips you of your selfesteem and your selfworth.
Nothing but questions,secrets,lies and bad surprises.You feel lost and alone.The pain can be so intense that you pray for death .It is a massive,devastating,tromenting pain.Many times you wont feel anything because you are numb and feel like you already are dead,bleeding and leaking out of a million and billion pores of your entire body,and have been put on some kind of life support,and everybody is trying to save you,your so perfect life,but the thing is ,you the main character doesnt know if you actually want to be saved or not.And if they can save you without asking you if you even want to be saved,you can imagine the quality of life after something like this.
But fact is if you decide to stay and try to save your marrige,you will find out how strong you are ,because beeing strong is the only choise you have.Anger and jealousy will come and go,but sadness will always be there.You gonna have all the why questions,but there will be no answers,not the kind that will satisfie you anyways.You cant sleep and you cant eat in the beginning.You will dream about this and cry,just cry so much that there will be no tears left.After a while you will look the way you feel.I suggest that you dont make any life changing decissions right away at this point,simply because your mind is not capable at this time.
BECAUSE,it takes time and patience.Its not just that you have to heal its the body ,mind and soul that has to heal.Read articles,books,join something online,clean you house and declutter it.Reading other peoples stories can make you feel better , because you will see how much worse theirs is even when you think it cant get any worse.Write,write and again write ,in a journey,letters whatever you want,just let it out.The person who had the affair made this choise and he or she choosed not right.Its NEVER your fault,ever.They have to take a hundred precent responsibility for their actions .If your decission is to stay together the unfaithful spouse has to do everything and anything you want or need to help you heal.He is the onlu one that can help you he is the key to your healing.
Belive it or not,after a while you will be able to function again.Never like before,but decent.Try to take care of yourself,slow down,eat,drink,try to sleep and most important,BREATHE.Pay attention to your body.Only this way will you allow yourself to think clearly.
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