I always think that knowing yourself is like building the foundations for a house. Without total honesty regarding your abilities and your faults, really you can't expect to hit any goals. All that's fine and large, but there are so many pitfalls.

One way where we can fool ourselves is if we have a job that we thoroughly enjoy and are very well paid for it. We may be tempted to think we do the job just for the money. In fact, the chances are that we'd be happy if we earned half that amount. It isn't the money, it's the enjoyment we derive from the job itself.

Please don't misunderstand me. If your boss walks up to you and tells you he's cutting your pay by 50%, it isn't very likely that you'll simply shrug and say, 'okay.' I'm simply illustrating the motivation.

It brings to mind Britain's Special Air Service, the most efficient and capable special ops in the World. They have to sign a pledge that they will serve without receiving any medals, no approbation from Her Majesty nor anyone else, they will not tell anyone that they are members of the S.A.S., they will not write books about their exploits; in short, they won't receive a single thing, apart from pay, and the honour of serving their country.

Actually, a couple of chaps did write books about their adventures and there was a heck of a row. These men must know themselves right down to the soles of their feet. Their lives and the lives of their comrades depend on it.

One way to better know yourself is to be tolerant about our own uncertainty. You may remember in a previous article I spoke about blushing and how I was teased at school. Well, suppose I'm chatting away to a chap and suddenly feel myself blushing. I had no idea I was going to start blushing again after all these years, but be that as it may, here I am at it again.

I don't have a clue why I blushed. Perhaps the chap reminded me of one of the kids who'd bullied me at school. But it's far better not to look for an explanation, to start rationalizing. Just relax and let your unconscious deal with it. Usually, your unconscious is far more likely to come to a satisfactory conclusion than you are.

It so often works in this way. You think to yourself; 'yes, that was interesting blushing like that. I wonder why?' You're probably still fairly certain it was because this man reminded you of a bully at sc hool, but you forget the whole incident.

Later in the day, or perhaps the following day, the image of a girl pops into your mind. You think back, remember her, recall how embarrassed you were when you first met her and of course blushed. It wasn't the bully at all. This is why knowing yourself is so important.

It's often suggested that it's far better to watch someone than to listen to what they say. Someone says he's madly in love with you all the time, but treats you badly, what's correct? Their words or their actions?

Two researchers named Nisbett and Wilson carried out a study about relationships. Now, I'm sure we're pretty certain we can predict our own behaviour better than an outsider, even a close family member. After all, we're 'us'!

These two gentleman found in one study that college friends were far more accurate at predicting the outcome of the relationships of their colleagues than were the partners themselves. So I think the crux of the matter is to always think twice. Never assume.

Do you really like that chap because he seems nice, or because he has nice muscles?

I do hope you enjoyed this article.