This Article is About
snap fingers
being a pilot
plane crashes
closing my eyes
first flight
no worries
Non - Flyer On - Air
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Non  -  flyer On  -  air

Most kids dream of being a pilot, many young girls strive for working as air-hostesses. This was definitely not the case with me. I am a non-flyer.

Non-flyer has no prejudice towards flying. He does not challenge this great achievement of men to dominate the skies and cross thousands of miles in no time comfortably seated in huge metal containers. Not at all. The non-flyer just does not do that. He is terrified. And no reasonable argument could persuade him not to be.

When I was supposed to fly for the first time, it was a short flight from Bulgaria to Germany, nothing but some snap-fingers two hours and 15 minutes. I was planning to pay a visit to my brother in lovely Cologne city but all my sweet holiday expectations were just smashed down by this terrible fear of not having my feet steady on the firm grounds. Talking to friends I was encouraged and comforted. “Everybody does that, millions of people fly, have no worries”, my roommate said. “This is the most secure transport ever invented. It is far more dangerous to drive or get the bus”, a friend added and another one agreed “Yes, 100% secure! And so are plane crashes – 100% secure that there are no survivals”. Find it funny?

Anyway, I took the flight. But before that I took 5 valerian pills and a beer – at 5 AM. The effect - zero. I grabbed the seat arms and did not even dare closing my eyes during the entire flight. Taking off was nasty, but then suddenly, oh my, the whole plane started shaking! As this was my first flight, no one had ever warned me this should happen. And I, a practical stick-to-the-ground person, could not explain it to myself – I can understand a bus shaking because it crosses different terrestrial relief. But the plane – it is nothing but … nothing below it, why should it be shaking. I jumped up and shouted “It is shaking! We are falling! We will all die!”. My neighbors and the staff had just the time to comfort me and we finally landed.

I felt so much better when the plane touched the earth, which was accompanied by applauses. “Why is that”, I asked in a much better mood. “We were lucky to land smoothly, this deserves the applauses every time”, my companion replied smiling. But my smile was gone – I imagined that I had to take the plane back home in a week…

Two years later, when I thought I had it all forgotten, I decided to go to Paris. It was my second visit, but the first one was by coach and really tiring. So, let’s do it – the non-flyer on air again! Check-in, valerian pills, boarding, beer, eyes wide open in fear, but – yes, I survived, I made it all the 2 hours and a half to Paris! Happier than ever, I spent great time in Paris and then had to fly back. While waiting at the airport of Beauvais for the flight to be announced, I noticed that another flight of the same airline had just landed. I saw the pilot and air-hostesses get down and then, immediately our flight was announced. And, what a terrible surprise – I saw the same crew getting back to the gates. Wait a minute, did that mean that they would fly my plane? This exhausted pilot and the machine, which had just landed - this could not be happening! “I am not getting on!” I declared to my companion and went to order another coffee while planning my way to the railway station. “Cut it out, this is stupid! The plane is navigated by computer and the pilot is not tired at all. Let’s go, boarding time!”, she replied.

After a discreet fight and with my heart beating like a drum, I was dragged to the gate and then – on the plane. Seated down, the belt on, I had all my attention fixed at the hostesses’ explanation about emergency exits. I hushed to the other passengers, because they did not seem to care and I was unable to hear. “But this is in Hungarian, you do not speak it!”, My companion said in indignation. Who cares! I needed to know all as I was convinced we were going to crash down. “Shut up” I said and she refused to deal with me any more. She took a magazine and started reading while we took off …

Short before landing I regained some of my reason and decided to apologize to her. But when I looked at her I saw the title of the article she was reading – “The only way is down”. “Why are you doing this?” I said angrily and we did not speak till landing.

You could laugh at me, but this is what I am – a non-flyer. I love traveling, but you will never get me on the plane again. What am I doing now? Running a travel company. Surprised? Don’t be! We make train tours.

Street Talk

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