There aren't many people that realize the wisdom of stopping anger before it gets out of hand. We usually end up in what's called a reaction spiral. It is the tendency to overreact to something, and then to compound the problem by overanalyzing it.

Reaction Spiral

An example of this would be something along the lines of, say, someone criticizing your work, or how you're doing something. You overreact and become defensive and angry. You then make matters worse by spending the next 30 minutes analyzing the comment, bringing up reason after reason that they are incorrect, and you are not as they say.

All sorts of thoughts pass through your mind and you focus on these. The more you're focused on these thoughts, the worse you feel, the angrier you get, and you even start to feel tired (yes, your attitude and feelings affects how tired you are. I'll discuss this in a future article.)

You see, it's a spiral, a snowball effect, and everyone gets caught up in it. But you can break out of it, and even stop it before it begins, trust me.

How Bad is it?

Ask yourself how effective you are when you're feeling defensive, when you feel stubborn and angry? Probably a little overwhelmed, and definately not up to the level of effectiveness that you normally are or should be.

Whether you believe it or not, in this state of mind, you don't make great decisions, you lose your creative thinking ability, expend unnecessary energy, and lose your sense of joy in the moment.

With negative reaction comes negative feelings. This is the point where we should focus on nipping the spiral in the bud. We generally use these feelings to justify our anger, and further negativity. We usually say something along the lines of "I have a right to be angry." Guess what? You do have a "right" to be angry! But, you also have a right to use these feelings as an alarm, as a trigger to let you know that you are about to fall into a negative attitude. You should always try instead to use anger and the associated feelings as a drive, as motivation.

Break the Cycle

If, rather than compounding these negative feelings, and thinking how wrong the other person is, we decided to use these feelings as a signal to alert us of this potential trouble, then we would be in a much better position to handle the situation and stop the cycle before is begins or gets out of hand. This is especially hard, and will not happen over night. But, if you acknowledge a mutual innocence, and rather forgive and brush aside, you will live a much more peaceful life, and save many friendships and even family relationships.

It's amazing how many misunderstandings turn into broken relationships because one or both decided that their anger was justified. We never know fully what is going on with another person, and it generally is just a misunderstanding. So, let's try to refocus our anger and negative feelings on motivation, and use them as a warning signal, calming the situation.

I have had this problem tremendously in my own life, and I always try to justify it by saying the "I have a right..." phrase. It never got me anywhere except for bringing me down. I am hoping that my words here at StreetArticles will help all. You can look forward to many more articles hoping to help each and every one of you live a more fulfilling and happy life with your family.

Good Luck and Happy Helping!