We live in a very angry and cruel world. There are wars in many nations some we hear about on the news and some we know little to nothing about. There is violence in our major cities and even rural towns, maybe even in your own neighborhood or home. You may even be fighting your own battle within yourself.

One (of the many) of the hardest emotions for human beings to control is anger. You see it and may experience it everyday. Someone says the wrong thing to you, looks at you the wrong way, cuts you off on the freeway, does not move out of your way fast enough, asks you to many questions about the same thing, and the list could go on and on. By now I am sure you get the idea.

There are many experts and many plans developed to help people control their anger issues. They may help you learn ways to cope with your anger more constructively, because there is nothing wrong with getting angry it is what you do with that anger that is or may be the problem. I feel that (as with many emotions) there is no one person who holds the magic key on how to manage your anger. You are the only one who can control your anger, how far you let it go and how much damage you cause with it.

With so many outside influences in our lives how do you determine what is really worth letting yourself get so worked up about. Well to me there is nothing that is worth getting so angry that you let yourself get out of control and do and say things you will regret later.

You may let things in your life bring you down and worry about just about everything but this will fix nothing. You may be angry at yourself for making a bad decision in your life, or mad at someone else for a decision they made that affects your life. But there are ways to deal with this and not make it worse then what it may already be. Anger is a hard emotion for me to handle as I tend to let too many of the little things in life get to me.

It is always better to look at the whole picture instead of getting hung up in the details. We focus too much on peaty, unimportant things, all the while the bigger more important problem is ready to blow up in our face. Let’s say someone makes you angry at work, for what ever reason; big, small however you perceive it. How do you handle the situation? Everyone has excuses for why they do the things they do and the way they do them. There is an excuse for everything in the world. To effectively handle the situation without getting out of control, call attention to the person’s way of working in a private area in as calm a manner as possible, don’t accept excuses and remain as positive as possible, most people tend to respond better in a constructive, positive environment. They feel less threatened and put down. If possible don’t assign them projects unless you are certain they will be completed in a timely manner or what ever you need to do to control your anger with this person. There is no reason to make it harder for yourself to control your own anger, get frustrated or just plain disgusted with this individual.

This is just one example (I could write a novel) there are people everywhere as I mentioned before with the potential to make you angry and most of them have no clue. I am sure there are people in the world who live for making other people angry, they wake up in the morning saying to themselves- Who can I piss off today? And you (well I’m just saying) may be one of them.

The ability to make someone angry means you have some kind of control over them (so you may think) and control empowers people. This is why countries go to war, because they want control, they want to be the one in control. In more simple terms for individuals we make someone angry you may feel like you are in control, you might get them to do what you want. But in the end these types of tactics may back fire on you at some point.

It might seem more practical and less aggressive to just simply ask for what you want- communication done in am effective manner can get you a lot further then deception and manipulation. It is always better to communicate your wants and needs in a calm and effective manner. Yelling, screaming, throwing a fit, and any other stupid crazy thing you do when you get angry will not help or change the situation in any way it basically just makes you look like a nut (to say the least). Anger can sometimes go way beyond the verbal, it can progress to physical aggression faster then you might be able to stop it.

Becoming physically aggressive towards another individual is in no way an acceptable manner to handle your anger. This happens around the world every second of the day. Does it really make good sense to cause physical injury to someone who has angered you, for what ever reason. It seems in the world today this is a part of people’s daily lives.

There have been many famous, talented, or just plain everyday people, senselessly killed because of anger, jealousy, greed, and many other emotions we project on others. I’m sure you can think of a few on your own, there may have been someone you know and love as well. If this has happen to you then I am truly sorry for your loss. Only people who are weak inside use these types of tactics to get what they want out of people, or from them.

Here are some methods you can use (I use them often) to control your anger: 1. Think before you say or do something to someone, this may be difficult at first but will save you from making a mistake in the end. 2. Communicate to the person (maybe when things cool down) that you were not pleased with what has occurred and would like to resolve it in a calm manner. 3. Walk away when you feel yourself getting angry or you feel like what you might do or say will anger someone.

Think to yourself will your anger or reaction change the situation or make it go away. When you learn to apply some of these principles to control your anger or maybe the actions you do to make others angry you may realize that the situation was not as bad as it seemed or it was really not worth getting so worked up about.

I realize there are many degrees of anger and everyone has their own push buttons, and these may be harder to apply then they may sound or at least look on paper. Over time and with self discipline you will learn how to manage your anger. I am in no way an expert in anger management, I have applied these principles to my own situations through my life and they have worked for me. You are the only one who can control your anger and how you use it against others.