It’s a common predicament for many men; forgetting your anniversary is like finding that you’ve fallen into a pool of quicksand. And the more you struggle, the deeper you go. There is no way out – except for the woman standing on the side refusing to throw you a line. You need to come up with something good to convince her you’re worth saving… it’s difficult to pull a bunch of roses or box of chocolates, or a romantic trip from quicksand.

Here are the top five excuses I’ve found that men use (perhaps not always successfully) to talk their way out of the mire.

I thought our anniversary was the day we met, not the day we made it official.

Now, this could be a good one – if you remember the date of the day you met. If not, you’ve just picked up a giant rubber hammer and you’re voluntarily knocking yourself deeper into the quicksand – at speed! She’s bound to say something along the lines of: “Okay, so what date did we meet?” And you better believe that she'll know!

I wanted to surprise you -you wouldn't be surprised if it was the actual date.

On the surface this does seem to bequitea logical explanation, but it is likely to come across more as … well, exactly what it is – an attempt to pretend you’re not standing in quicksand at all. It only looks that way. But in fact it’s all done with mirrors and you’re going to now calmly step out of it. Of course, she may well point out that a surprise would have been making it earlier! Making it later is more like fire-fighting. You’re probably going to have to come up with something really impressive as the “surprise” if you’re to get out of the quicksand and live to forget another anniversary.

I'm genetically designed to focus on outside threats – I’m protecting you!

Hmm… this one’s tempting, especially since top psychologist, Dr Herb Goldberg says so! And, hey, you may well get away with it. There is a danger though, that she may point out the fact that you remember dates of sporting achievements of complete strangers, and that it’s highly unlikely that her life would be danger if you don’t remember who scored what in nineteen sixty something.

You could try replying that you’re driven by testosterone which means you’re more inclined to remember details involving competition and aggression since that’s how your brain is wired. Of course, you may beopening a new can of worms there as she may agree with you, and thereforemake sure competition and aggression (especially aggression) is from now on attached to your anniversary date. In other words, she may well hand you a line to get out of the quicksand, but it may befashioned from black mambas!

Tickets were sold-out, so I had to make it next week. (Then quickly go and book some tickets... for something... for a week later!)

Now, this could work… although you have to bevery careful, and very clever. It’s wise to think of a feasiblereason you didn’t simply wish her happy anniversary with a card, and explain that the actual celebration and gift is booked for a week’s time due to availability.

You could try saying something like “You didn’t get the card? But I sent it last week! I’ll call the postal service and ….” You’ve got to bea fairlygood actor to pull that one off. Or you could try laughing affectionately and saying “Gotcha! I knew you’d think I’d forgotten! I’ve booked tickets for the ……… next week – couldn’t get any for tonight.” And then hope you can indeed get tickets for the ……… for next week!

I died.

Now, that’s just silly. But I felt I should include it as it is an excuse that some sarcastic (or very desperate) men offer up. This is unlikely to get you out of the quagmire. In fact, it’s likely to become more of a prediction than an excuse.

The best advice I can give, is to apologize profusely, reassure her that you forgot because you’re only a man, and men are wired to forget emotional stuff and remember dangerous, competitive and aggressive stuff; but that it’s no reflection on how you feel about her – and you’ll prove it by making up for forgetting your anniversary in a way that will melt her heart. It's your best shot of getting her to throw you a life-line to get you out of that mire! :)