Personal Relationships, everyone wants one when you don’t have one, yet when you are in one you spend a lot of thinking time about what irritates you, or what you could change, finding flaws or faults in each other. This is an observation from what I have heard in conversations, seen in the media or read in books and magazines.

What is a relationship? Definition on Google of an interpersonal relationship is is an association between two or more people that may range in duration from brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment.

Regardless of the type of relationship that you are experiencing I believe there is one fundamental rule that we overlook. This relates to letting people be who they are and removing ourselves from the need to share our opinions on their decisions. I am not suggesting that you don’t have one, I’m just for keeping that thought to yourself. What you exclaim, what are you saying!

Well unless their decision impacts on me and my ability, my life I am a proponent for live and let live. I would never assert my fear, insecurity or negative belief upon another. I can say that now as I have in the past been in relationships where there was an element of control displayed by my partner at that point in time.

Looking back at that phase in my life I was a perfect match to those partners. I was insecure and lacked confidence and my chosen relationship partner displayed the behavior to reinforce that insecurity. Let me explain the emotion of jealousy and how two people involved in the loop are perfect for the experience. In my early twenties, having left a ‘controlling’ marriage, I moved overseas for a fresh beginning in a new relationship. This man was wonderful, kind, very generous and giving. I didn’t see those qualities; all I saw was a perceived lack of freedom based on my previous experience and my need to get permission to do anything, not viewing this as consideration and courtesy. Needless to say because of my insecurities that relationship didn’t last and I jumped into another one!

This time I got exactly what I was thought, the new man in my life gave me the outcome I had focused on – he was insecure and jealous and as a result he required me report continuously on my movements, what I was wearing, who I saw seeing! Being young and naïve I mistook this control as caring. Well that didn’t last long, it became suffocating, argumentative and then abusive. Jealousy is a mask for insecurity and it created the precise outcome that emotion implies. I eventually left.

Fortunately I worked out what I was creating and learnt that I need to focus on positive events and traits in people not the opposite. This is how Universal Law of Attraction operates. What we put our attention on will manifest. The good news is that no relationship is ever wasted. For every negative experience, on a metaphysical plane, the opposite has become and all we need to do is become a match to this new version of reality.

With the benefit of hindsight and the wisdom of experience I now can give thanks to what I have learnt from those not so pleasing times in my life and appreciate the new and uplifting relationships which have been created because of it. We can choose to remember the pain or we can choose to recognise the ‘pearl’ that was hidden in that lesson …. I am so pleased that I can proudly wear my necklace of life’s learning’s and be able to share them