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Do mothers often make unnecessary acts of self-sacrifice?
I don’t know if some people believe that Mother is destined to be sacrificed for her children but the children themselves, if you ask them, will answer you that definitely do not agree. Children either on the autism spectrum or not, need a mom full of love, acceptance, joy and zest for life. And thus by a mom with love and acceptance for herself.
Many times, mothers confuse absolute and unconditional love with the concept of sacrifice, a sacrifice, several times does not even have purpose and meaning. It's different doing something for someone else and especially for your child with happiness and entirely different to do things and feel your gaze turns to anger and resentment fires. To feel that you don’t live for yourself but for the others. Or to have pinned in your hair a halo for not showing the great sadness in your eyes, for all of these we wanted to do and you are not doing.
Where to get children the example of life full of joy? How to learn to love themselves? But, most importantly, how to live a life free from the burden of guilt that the mom who love is being sacrificed for them by doing things her heart don’t want?
When you grow a child with special features is often more difficult to find the right balance, between what you wanted to do and what you need to do as a mother. Just because the child with special feature needs much more care and energy in order to flourish. However, to offer genuine care I should have first offer depending on the mother of my children, because she either is hiding in her heart a little child.
Something important to help a mother to meet the needs of herself and her children simultaneously, is to renounce the earliest possible stage of decent action (contacts, meetings, communications), which did not give her any joy and the various "toxic" relationships with "vampire" people who move around, and tolerated in the past but now has much less strength and tolerances.
People are like rechargeable batteries. When empty they need to be filled again. And you as a mother of a child with special features you should fill your batteries to offer to your child the best. Don't think that you are not doing things right. This is the right way to go so to help your child to gain strong defenses on the long road of life.
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