Many do not consider institutional living as the ideal for ourselves, parents or grandparents. Happier people are healthier people so perhaps many of the health issues that face people today might disappear when they are integrated into family, when they feel useful and included. There comes a time when medical care needed might be greater than what we can offer or hire but when and how do you decide if it’s a minor inconvenience or truly a medical emergency. I’m not suggesting anybody’s life be compromised; I am suggesting that the most important things in life, may not be things.

With assisted living and nursing home costs expected to sky rocket, with 10,000 people a day turning 65, with Medicare cutting four Billion from that line item, with a shortage of quality facilities predicted, with our ever increasing life spans, the time is now to plan for our own and our loved ones future.

The government and long term care providers are all pushing for “aging in place”. I am suggesting we take that to the next level, “aging with family”. A recent study showed that 85% of the people are happier living with extended family. It’s not just about combining resources or the baby sitting assistance it’s about the sharing; food, day to day activities, successes, failures, in short…life.

I agree there are challenges, I’ve never seen a kitchen my mother doesn’t “own”. I remember believing my step-grandmother was an alien because she had a stroke and her words were kooky. I remember Grandma Bessie’s Chihuahua named Pebbles, I hated pebbles, that was 30 some years ago and I suspect Pebbles is still alive and mean. And I repeat, the most important things in life, may not be things. Sometimes newer is not better, sometimes back to basics is better. World class people always look to improve and stay conscious enough to see when it’s going the other way. Prior to 1950 it was normal for the extended family to be close together, the post war prosperity brought new thinking, new entitlements. It's time to rethink.

Curly in City Slickers talked about the one. The one thing that life is about. The one thing we live and would be willing to die for. I believe we all have our own one, and for many of us it’s family and loved ones. The one thing is that which we must take care of, nurture, encourage and foster. Curly dies but he left the a directive, find your one. I suspect he would have agreed with my philosophy.

Find a way, make a plan and your family will be very happy.