We know that children, especially obese children are bullied but we usually assume that the main perpetrators of that bullying are all peers. A new study published in the Pediatrics journal reveals that while peer to peer bullying does account for the majority of incidents, an alarming number of children are bullied by adults including gym teachers, sports coaches and most alarming of all, their own parents. It is not that these people are getting their amusement from picking on their overweight children but rather mistakenly believing that their "gentle" jibes will inspire weight loss. They are wrong.

My youngest daughter is the most solidly built of my three children but a very long way from being overweight in any regard. She is spot on, growth wise according to her pediatrician and has a litheness about her that I envy, silently to myself every now and then. Hers would be the body of a ballerina if she also did not possess two of the largest feet I have ever seen grow out of a child. Think of them more like flippers, if you will. A solid base of support to be sure but it kind of knocks her out in the grace department. She came home from school and asked if she was "fat". Trying to remain calm, I asked why and was shocked to learn that the gym teacher had made the comment. There are many reasons that this comment enraged me, many reasons that I felt I had to call this teacher to task for it. But, many kids are not telling their parents about this bullying and worse, many are finding that their parents kind of agree.

Studies about childhood obesity are kind of all over the place but they are all very, very depressing. On one side of the spectrum we have the parents who could not identify that their children had a weight problem at all, thinking their child was at or at least near "normal" weight when they were not. On the other end are the parents who are falling into the bullying category who are identifying their child's weight issue and then nagging, teasing and outright taunting them about it. It would be interesting to redo these studies to see which set of parents were overweight/obese themselves and how they felt about it.

My dad made a comment about my own weight one time. Actually what he commented on was my thighs. I have short, stocky legs and my thighs were made all the thicker for my hours and hours in the pool plus baseball plus volleyball and whatever other sport drifted my way. Did it hurt? Not at all but I could certainly see how others might have been slighted at best. Parents, before you make a comment that you think will "gently" guide your child, stop and ask yourself how you would feel if a friend said that same thing to you.