This Article is About
ultimatum
long term relationship
nasty divorce
painful time
ultimatums
desperation
hurdles
new business
fears
feelings
marriage
freedom
parents
A Relationship Ultimatum - Giving Your Guy The Marriage Ultimatum
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

A Relationship Ultimatum  -  Giving Your Guy the Marriage Ultimatum

You’ve been together over a year yet he hasn’t proposed. In fact, any time the conversation moves toward commitment, he pulls away, becoming distant and nonresponsive. When you’re serious about your relationship, it’s frustrating not understanding why he shuns committing. You love him and want to build a life with him, you even thought he loves you yet, you’re still not engaged. So what do you do?

With most women wanting to become engaged, waiting for him to propose will drive them to desperation. With desperation comes the threat; let’s get married or else. Frankly, there is no reason for giving an ultimatum in any relationship. Your guy may already be committed to you but has reasons he’s not ready to marry. Threatening him only pushes him in a corner, making him more resistant.

When telling him it’s now or never, be ready to deal with the response you get. A now or never ultimatum, very likely, will get you a “never” response. No one likes to be threatened and if he says never, be prepared to act on the “never” and leave. No long term relationship should begin with an ultimatum which may ruin what you already have together. Do you really want the knowledge of your threat overshadowing your marriage?

There are alternatives to giving ultimatums. Talk to him in a manner that discusses the issue not threatens. Express your feelings, let him know what you want out of life, but also listen to what he is saying. Understand what his views, feelings and fears are, adapting your own to coincide with his.

Men avoid commitment for many reasons. He may worry about supporting the two of you or he’s not sure he’s ready to give up his freedom. Maybe his parents went through a nasty divorce; a painful time for everyone.

Sometimes, not committing is because of hurdles he still needs to face in his life. Is he still in school or starting a new career; maybe a new business? If so, this could cause him to stall commitment until he feels secure with where his life is headed. If this is the case, reassure him that you hope things can move forward after he reaches his goal. Showing him support in his chosen path will strengthen what you have together.

Ultimatums and threats rarely work and may cause irreparable damage. If you feel your guy is pulling away, you need to understand why; understand what he is thinking and what he wants. Men think differently than women and usually act on gut feelings. Your understanding is the most important step to making him feel secure in moving forward.


Street Talk

Thanks Shawn

Reply
  about 6 years ago

great advice Nancy!

Reply
  about 6 years ago
You May Also Like
When Will He Propose - Or Should You Give Him An Ultimatum?
It's a relationship myth that giving your boyfriend an ultimatum will send him packing. In point in fact, it might be just what he needs to happen to get his mind made up about if or when he will propose to you. If you have been seeing each other for…
By: Connie Lewis in  Relationships  >  Marriage   Oct 18, 2013  
2
  Likes: 1

Paypal Issues An Ultimatum: Has Paypal Crossed Over to Moral Police?
In mid February, Paypal issued an ultimatum to eBooks publisher, Smashwords, demanding that certain types of erotica be removed from its site completely or its account would be completely deactivated. Smashwords founder Mark Coker said that there were multiple conversations back and forth between the two entities to try to…
By: amie nogrady in  Internet and Businesses Online  >  Ecommerce   Mar 04, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Commitment Issues In Men - Dangers Of Using Ultimatums
It is very common, among women who have been waiting to be proposed marriage for a long period of time, having commitment issues with their partner, to think that the best solution is to present their boyfriend an ultimatum concerning the relationship. If the woman wants badly to be engaged…
By: Valerie W. Wicker in  Relationships  >  Commitment   Sep 24, 2012  
1
  Likes: 5

Get Him to Commit Without Being Pushy
It’s very common for women to try and get their man to commit in a pushy fashion. More times than not, these types of women are known for their bold and sometimes out-spoken personalities. As we all know, not all women would think of themselves as “bold” and “out-spoken” and…
By: Jasmine Mayfair in  Relationships  >  Commitment   Aug 01, 2012  
0
  Likes: 2

Things To Say To Your Ex Boyfriend - Leave Him Wanting More!
You've been coming up with lists of things that you want to say to your ex boyfriend ever since you broke up. When the time actually comes, however, you seem to be stumbling over your words and every thought you had went flying out the window. Instead of hanging up…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Communication   Sep 15, 2012  
4
  Likes: 3

Get Past A Break Up – And Move On With Your Life
When you least expect it, life has a way of taking you by surprise and body slamming you. Everything can be going along smoothly and out of the blue we have a relationship breakup or experience a loss. Suddenly we are dealing with some major upheaval. The people around us…
By: Lacey Wolf in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jun 21, 2012  
5
  Likes: 1

How To Get Your Boyfriend To Propose - Who To Trust
If you are in a long term relationship, the thought of a big, beautiful wedding has likely crossed your mind on several occasions. However, more and more women are finding that their partner is either stalling or seems completely uninteresting in marriage. So how do women get the man of…
By: zollie Williams in  Relationships  >  Engagements   Apr 11, 2012  
3
  Likes: 1

How to Win Your Man Back
When there is a breakup after a long term relationship, no matter whose fault it was, both the partners feel like patching up again but could not as they are afraid of doing so. Girls may express their sorrow as it is the women’s nature. However, men usually do not…
By: theblogger2012 in  Relationships  >  Love   Jul 23, 2012  
2
  Likes: 0

Get An Ex Boyfriend Back
If you want to get back together with an ex boyfriend, don’t worry, it can be done. Many women have successfully managed to get back together with an ex and enjoy a long term relationship. In fact, sometimes these relationships are stronger as a result of the break up and…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Aug 21, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Think Like A Man – Is It Your Behavior That’s Making It So Hard For Your Man To Commit?
Many women get frustrated and complain that they are only attracting men who are incapable of committing themselves to a long term relationship. Are you one of these women? Do you feel that all the men you have dated pull away at a certain point or are “emotionally unavailable”? Before…
By: Grace in  Relationships  >  Dating   May 01, 2012  
4
  Likes: 1

Use the Laws of the Court to Your Advantage
If you have reason to go to court, you need to know the laws of the court so you are not caught in a dirty crossfire of lawyers and judges who have known each other for years. When you are in that position you will feel like a June bug…
By: Samuel Crumpton in  Legal   Nov 15, 2011  
4
  Likes: 0

Why Work Out at Home?
You might be asking yourself: Why work out at home instead of joining a local fitness club? Why are people getting fitness DVDs and basic workout equipment and not going to the gym anymore like they used to? There seems to be a trend to working out more naturally and…
By: PeterD in  Health and Fitness  >  Exercise   Aug 19, 2013  
0
  Likes: 1

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - Time to Stand Up Again.
You had a long term relationship, and you enjoyed it. However, it ended up, and you broke up. I can see that it is very hard to be single after being in a relationship that you admired. You have a huge amount of history and memories with him, and you…
By: Sevgi2 in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Sep 06, 2012  
3
  Likes: 0

How to Get An Ex Back
Did you go through a split up? If so, then you are wondering how to get an ex back? Most people get an experience of break up in their early adult age. Sadly, most of them prefer moving on instead of trying to get their loved one back. Well, if…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Apr 08, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

How Can I Get My Boyfriend Back
Had a breakup after a long term relationship? Still love your Ex? Don’t worry because I’ll tell you some tips which will make your ex run after you in the same way he once used to. All you have to do is just make him realize that you no longer…
By: theblogger2012 in  Relationships  >  Love   Jul 23, 2012  
8
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 2211    Report this Article