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Did We Commit To Each Other Too Soon?
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You've been with your husband for several years. It was a whirlwind fling and you were married in a matter of weeks. You were madly in love at the time. Over the years, you've had more than your fair share of ups and downs. The ups have been glorious and the downs have been miserable. You can't help but wonder during the down times in our marriage if perhaps you didn't commit to each other too soon to be sure you really were the right ones for one another. Did you commit to each other too soon? Is it ever really possible to know for sure?

When you have problems in your marriage, it's easy to start looking around for a convenient scapegoat. Those pesky critters come in the form of money woes, educational differences, child rearing preferences, goals, plans, interests, and ambition. You name it, and there is probably a divorce somewhere in history that has been blamed on it. The bottom line is that there is no way to tell now if you committed to each other a little too soon or if you had all the "courtship" you needed to be sure you were marrying "the one" for you.

The problem is that most people base their idea of relationship perfection on fairy tales and Hollywood film effects. Life is rarely as rosy as it is in the movies and relationships are never that neat. Remember most movies only last about two hours. Any relationship can look good in that time-frame. The odds are good that you didn't commit too soon if you were both willing to commit. The even better odds for your relationship, though, are that you really don't have to go very far to get the help you need to make your marriage work. It's not too late to save your marriage – at least it's not too late just yet.

Here are a few things you can do to get your marriage back on solid ground and face a better future for both of you.

  • Learn how to fight fair. Most people only know how to fight to win (whether they win a lot or not). They don't know how to fight to get answers, results, or to the bottom of things. Once you learn to really fight fair and look for solutions everything you think you know about your spouse is going to change in a heartbeat.
  • Communicate with your spouse the things you want and need. Marriage is about give and take. With too much of one and not enough of the other there will come a tipping point that won't be pretty at all.
  • Show some appreciation and respect. Now is the time to start letting your spouse see just how much the little things he or she does mean to you. It will make a huge difference in your marriage. The more you practice this one little step the happier your marriage will be for the long haul.

You can accomplish a lot of things for the good of your marriage by making a few small moves today. When you play your cards right at this crucial point in your marriage you'll never need to worry about how to get your ex back again.


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