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Learning How To Trust People - A Major Choice
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Learning How to Trust People  -  A Major Choice

This morning as I was drinking my coffee and wondering what to write about, I couldn’ t help thinking over what has happened to me these last days. I trusted someone I considered as trustworthy source and didn’ t bother digging into it further. I can put the blame only on me, of course. I should have known better. Fortunately the damage was not that big. I guess I am still learning how to trust people! So, here is the question of the major choice.

Who should we trust?

As everyday goes by more and more people come into our lives. People we know and keep in touch with, people we know and haven’ t met or talked to for years and people we don’ t know and either meet accidently or through other acquaintances. Every person we talk to gives us new information, food for thought, data to analyse. This exchange of experiences allows us to move forward, always to learn something. Something useful or something not so useful.

But who’ s advise should we follow?

How can we choose the right path? Either that has to do with our personal or our business life.

I believe there is no correct answer to this, since there are so many factors contributing. Maybe the first and very important filter we always carry with us is what we have learned at home. What our parents have tought us. Due to that we have developed a natural defence, a little voice inside our heads, which tells us how to proceed. But how often do we pay attention to it? Why do other factors influence our judgement?

It all has to do with timing. How good was the time we received the information? What were our feelings at that particular moment or period in life? What was our financial situation at the time? And last but not least were we alone?

In a society that consuming, where we all run around like crazy trying to grab an opportunity to improve our lives and businesses, how easy can it be to follow the right direction?

My late grandfather used to say “always listen to the opinions of other people but never forget what you originally thought”. In other words trust your instinct. I always follow this advice and it has saved me from trouble or awkward situations up to now. I should have checked the information first. Because there is no such thing as easy success. There is only a collection of the right choices. So, always always always apart from how bad or excited we feel about something, it is crucial to think twice before we choose. Use our experience well, our second natural filter. Learn. Do not repeat the same mistakes.

Check who you trust. Check the motives. Check the consequences for you.

Final thoughts

I just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head. Maybe you have experienced something similar. Something just to talk about…


Street Talk

I love your grandfathers advice. It is so true! I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and tend to trust unless I have been given a reason not to. Once my trust is broken, it takes a lot to get it back. There are some people who I can't trust anymore and it makes me very sad.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Thanks for this comment Lacey. Well, this only thing I can say is you are not the only one in this. I guess this is just a way that peoples relationships change and moreover I like to think that if somebody betrayed your trust he/she didn't deserve it in the first place

Reply
  about 9 years ago

unless you are put on the spot to trust someone you have no history with, trust is earned. If you must trust someone you do not know, use your first impression, it is the least influenced by outside forces. :) JMO

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

That is so Shawn. It is just really ugly when you know someone and has earned your trust in the past. When suddenly this trust is betrayed...Anyway, thanks for reading my article and commenting

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

That is a scary subject. I like to think trust is something that is freely given. Its not something to be earned, but a gift that one chooses to accept or not. It really does sting when its not handled the way it should be, and its hard to repair I have found. Even harder to keep your heart open when its happened a few times:(

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thank you Wayne for sharing your thoughts and for reading my article.Trust is surely a gift and apparently it has not been treated wisely in many cases for the most of us. And yes I totally agree it is really hard to repair if ever...and it takes time. Really long time.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Trust! It's such a loaded word. What is it and how do we establish it? How fragile it can be if we don't respect it. Worthy article and comments shared also. Instinct is a big part of it but also setting healthy and logical boundaries around our own space. I don't open my (figurative) front door for any nutter walking by but that doesn't mean I won't answer their knock and assess the situation. It's very dependant on the situation too: family, work situation, internet. All different levels and experiences of 'trusting'.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Very intresting comment Heather and I like your aspect. It seems that today we have to make choices on different levels which makes it a bit more complicated. Thank you for the comment I really appreciate it and I will use it.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
Joan S  

I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but ultimately trust my inner voice. We're equipped with radar, but sometimes we forget to use it. We're living during a time things are more transparent than ever, and there is a preponderance of corruption and greed around us. Makes one quite skeptical. It should. You can somewhat predict the behavior of the people you know, but strangers require your radar. Over all, trusting people is good because it often brings out the best in them. Let's face it. Sometimes you have to take a chance.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Well said Joan! By all means. After all we have to give a chance if we want to be given one! Thank you for commenting.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

I honestly don't really trust people except for my dad - at least 100% anyway. I don't mind hearing somebody out though, becoming friends, and talking with them though even if they are a random person I've met up with somehow.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Good for you Seth! Although we should trust someone from time to time. Otherwise we live always in fear. But...first we try, then we trust. That is the motto! Thanks for your comment

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Man. Maria, I have a huge problem with trust. I lost trust in people a long time ago, and I'm just starting to regain it. Usually, it's my "social anxiety" that messes with me, however, everyday I'm learning to trust people until they give me ca reason not to. Listen to their words, watch their gestures, and look into their eyes.... this is how you know for sure.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Couldn't agree with you more Saytue! You know what they say : It takes years to built trust and only a moment to destroy it! Thanks for dropping by, great comment!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
Lemuel  

Hi Maria. I agree with Kevin there. Your grandfather was right in giving that advice (I just took note of it for myself, thanks). But as long as we live there will always be untrustworthy people who only want to take and not give. And we learn from experience and become stronger. Wishing you all the best in life. :) Thanks for sharing.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thank you for commenting that Lemuel. I am really glad to share it and very pleased you also took a note of the advice. You are so right! There will always be people like that...

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
Barbara9  

excellent article

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thanks a lot Barbara9

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

I have always been able to judge someone by their demeanor, and I have always trusted my first instinct. If I feel slightly skeptical then I follow my instinct, my self judgement. It is not an easy thing to do, but trust no one but your self I say, listen to advice and suggestions but make up your own mind, that way you only have yourself to blame.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

And apparently that is always the best way to judge people Rob. I follow the same tactics but you see, once you make the mistake... Bank!!! Of course you only have yourself to blame. Thanks for reading and discussing my thoughts. Means a lot to me. :-)

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
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