Keith's view - on what makes wedded bliss continue to happen in a marriage.

There has been a lot of press in the past few weeks about the breakdown of marriages and many experts have given their views. Whilst being no expert, I am notching up 47 years this year and so I guess you learn a bit in this time frame don't you? There are many views so I thought I would just give my view of what I consider are the six most important factors in our marriage.

1. Humour. I have always said that if I can't make my wife laugh then there is something really wrong. That's the naive side but in reality there is another side. It is not possible to laugh and be angry. Our mind just doesn't allow these two emotions to exist at the same time - try it. So I strongly believe that having humour between the two of you is vitally important. Humour leads to relaxation and I have often used this in very tense situations at my place of work. Usually the humour is aimed at myself, and it works. So please give it a try.

2. Recognise that things will change. The wedding day takes place and for a while we are all on our honeymoon aren't we? But this cools down and the marriage moves into another phase where the hormone induced bliss subsides and a strong relationship is born or not. This is the crucial time of change when it is necessary to work hard, together, at that change ensuring this marriage will blossom into the future. Key point here - it won't happen on its own or if only one of you tries to make it happen.

3. Complete Openness and Communication. Communication goes without saying - right? No it doesn't always and what happens if communication doesn't happen, or if it does it isn't completely open, - then thoughts start to set in which question what is being said. Next step of course is arguements about what is going on and it all begins to spiral downwards. Keeping in touch, or communicating whether you are at home or apart, (which is always the difficult one), doesn't cost a dime. All you need is the will to do so, and do it well. The rewards are significant.

4. Respect and kindness. You married that partner because you loved them right? Wrong you married them because you also respected them for being the wonderfull person they are. You showed them respect and kindness in that pre marriage period we used to call courting. Why should it ever stop? The outcome of this is that you always put that partner first and enjoy each other. Happiness rules okay?

5. You will need to work at it - even a Judge has given this view. In the UK there is a growing divorce culture, and a Judge has recently given his verdict on this trend. In his view and I have to agree, it is necessary to keep working at your marriage if it is to stay intact. This means working at it all the time. This marriage thing is not a part time job; it is, or should be, for life - agreed? There is no such thing as an instant marriage, in our instant culture.

More ingredients to follow - but for now, humour and work at it is a great start - enjoy!