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The New Trend For Relationships And How It Can Work For You
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The New Trend for Relationships And How it Can Work for You

Marriage numbers are evolving again. For a first time marriage, the average age is getting much older. But, while there are many who are crying about traditional marriage and who is and is not threatening the concept there is something they are missing. Marriage, the institution itself is changing and not because one group wants the right and not because other groups think that it should be forced on their offspring. It is changing because people's attitudes about life, relationships and their needs are changing. One of those changes is a compromise of sorts, a way to straddle the line between being in a committed relationship and being completely single. The experts are calling it the "stay over relationship". It can work and work well, but it is a challenge that needs to be handled properly from the very start.

Almost a million adults in the United States are unmarried at any given moment, accounting for just over forty percent of the population. Nearly seventy percent of the population have zero plans of ever getting married according to recent studies. Some are opting to live with a partner while others are choosing the stay over. That entails spending three or four nights of the week at one house or the other, sometimes focusing on one home while others may alternate back and forth. It is a unique arrangement because there are often other factors that have to be considered to make the relationship work.

First, you have to understand why you are interested in a stay over relationship rather than a more traditional cohabitation or marriage. If it is financial, it is likely that eventually one or both of the parties will change their mind and make it more permanent. However, if both of you are unwilling to give up your individual space and enjoy the time that you spend together, this might be the perfect set up. Always be honest, however, especially if expectations or topics start changing. For instance, if one partner mentions eventual marriage and you know that you are never going to be interested in that, you have to let them know, immediately.

Second, there has to be guidelines. If you are okay with your furniture being rearranged, that is one thing, but if you want things where you put them, period, you need to set the ground rules. If you are not telling family members about the other person, for instance, the kids do not know, then that needs to be discussed immediately as well. Some people will continue in the stay over for decades while for others, it is only a stop gap relationship until something different comes along.


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