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What To Do When A Man Pulls Away ?
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What to Do When A Man Pulls Away ?

Is this situation familiar to you ? Your boyfriend does not call you as often as before, he is very slow returning your calls and often cancels your dates at the last minute with no apparent reason.

The good news is that you are not alone. This happens to a great number of women during their relationships, specially when they have been certain time together with their boyfriend.

The first thing that most woman think is that is their fault. They may have done something wrong, or perhaps they have not done as much as they could. They may also think that her boyfriend doesn't love them anymore and even they start to suspect that he may be cheating.

The original problem is that we were taught that love is enough to move forward any relationship. Although men needs to love you to move forward, he needs something else to become self motivated to do it.

What does a man need to move forward ?

A man has 2 images of himself:

  • How he sees himself.
  • How he believes other people see himself.

Every man feels he is on an important journey to accomplish something important in life. The strange thing is that he may not know which is the goal of that mission, or where it will take him. However, he knows that he wants to be near people that will help him reach that goal.

In particular, he want to be with a women that will help him with that journey.

If you want a man to move forward, you will want him to see you as the most helpful person in that important journey. If he started to be more distant or has changed his behaviour, it is not that he does not love you anymore. The most common reason is that he feels for some reason that you are not the correct person to help him in his journey to accomplish something important in life.

You may think: "What have I done to make him feel that?". Probably, you will not be able to discover the reason. Surprinsingly, your boyfriend may also not know it. Men set their own "invisible" traps. They are not deliberate, but they can't be seen.

For example, if he is a lawyer and in your first dates you ask the wrong questions, such as "Are you a partner?" or "How much time have you been a lawyer?", he realizes you are not interested in the "real him", although he may not be able to express in words why he feels that way.

Instead, more adequate questons are: "What are your favourite cases and why?" "Tell me about one" This allows him to reveal his true himself so he will be intensively attracted to the woman that makes that possible.

In conclusion, if your man is pulling away, being more distant every day that passes, try to make some small changes to make him realize you are the one that will help him in his journey. In the near future, you may be surprised with a wedding ring.

Street Talk

S. Gray  

Interesting article! If a man pulls away for no apparent reason, it's time to move on and create beautiful memories with someone else.

  about 1 decade ago

Yes S. Gray, this article by Valerie holds a lot of truth regarding the complications of men. Valerie you sound like a loving person with a lot of patience, nothing wrong with that. I am getting older by the minute and have seen a lot in my sixty years. I like S. Gray would move on no matter how much it hurt.

  about 8 years ago

Sometimes men pull away with no apparent reason !

  about 1 decade ago

The reason may not be apparent but there must be a reason for it.

  about 1 decade ago

Well, that is what I discuss in the article.

  about 1 decade ago
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