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There are great ways to have a conversation with your man. Then again, there is a wrong way to go about talking with your partner that will make him cringe. Take note of what women should never say to a man in order to have nothing but the best talks with your guy.
Comparison (sizing up)
One thing that men truly don't like is when you size them up or compare them to someone else. It could be that you're comparing them to one of the men in your past, or to someone else's man.
Men don't like this for two reasons. First of all, if you are comparing him to a past lover, he may feel like you continue to think about this guy and wish you were still with him.
Secondly, if you cannot stand the man from your past, you are making your mate feel like he is very much like this person you no longer care about. He may begin to feel like all of his bad habits remind you of all the things you dislike about a past relationship.
If you keep throwing a past relationship in his face, almost as if he isn't measuring up, it will grow old very quickly.
An example of a comparison comment would be –
“That reminds me of something used to do (or say)…”
“Oh, I thought I was with for a minute there.”
Criticism
If you start out a conversation with things such as -
“I told you so…”
“Why do you always…”
“Hmmm...typical male response.”
“I guess my mom was right about you.”
“If you had a brain, you'd be dangerous.”
“Can't you ever…”
“Why don't you…”
“Why do you always…”
“How old are you???”
“If I had a dime for every time I've heard that...”
“Must I do everything?”
“How's that job search going?”
Can you see how the above conversation starters would probably kill all chances of a good talk even before it even got started?
When you start out by criticizing, you are automatically putting your partner on the defensive. He feels attacked before he can even open his mouth. He spends more time trying to defend himself and may not even get to the conversation at all.
Because men tend to want to avoid conflicts and arguments, they may not say what's really on their mind or let it go. He may just agree with everything you say so as not to cause a conflict. He’ll have no opinion one way or the other, or say that whatever you want to do is fine, even if he really doesn’t feel that way.
If he gets nothing but comparisons, or is constantly being reminded that he's inferior to you or someone else, along with criticism, it won't take him long before he asks himself why he's putting up with this kind of treatment. Everyone has their breaking point and at some time, when he’s tired of the constant criticism, he may just decide to move on to nicer pastures.
In the meantime, not only will he withdraw from you emotionally, but it will be increasingly difficult to get him to have much of any kind of a conversation with you.
If you've been guilty of starting conversations with either a comparison or criticizing tone, stop and think about how you may be coming across to your guy.
Choose your words more carefully. Help him to feel better about opening up to you without the fear of a negative response. By choosing words that are more positive and supportive, you'll get a much better response from your sweetheart.
Conversations that begin with criticism or comparisons are definitely two strong examples of what women should never say to a man.
Excellent point, Melissa! I noticed the same thing...I talk to husband #2 much differently than #1. My relationship with #2 is night & day from the first one. I think you're right...happiness levels can make a world of difference in your conversations.
This is great...I laughed so hard about hearing my self say those things in past relationships....haha
I'm embarrassed to admit how much of this came from first-hand experience
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