Women everywhere ask this question: "Why do men run from commitment?" on a fairly regular basis. If the question is so common you might believe there's some truth to the rumors that men have a tendency to shy away from prolonged commitments. Sometimes, cold feet, or hesitation to commit, happen to be the sole problem that leaves men running hard and fast in the opposite direction. There are other times though when there is another problem in the relationship that has little to do with the commitment angle at all.

There are many things you should consider before giving up on your guy over his fear of commitment. There are also many ways to help him get over his fear of commitment if you're willing to make the effort. But there is one thing you need to do before you even think of trying to get him to commit. You need to sit down together and try to work out what commitment means to each of you. For many men, it's all about the spin. They see commitment as the worst of all foul evil four-letter words (yes I know it has a good deal more than four but you get the picture). It's an ugly word to men because that's what they've been taught about it.

Most men view commitment as a chain that holds them prisoner in a relationship. For men, commitment is the ultimate slavery and it's one that other lesser men walk right into. They don't want to be bound to one person forever. They aren't interested in sacrificing their freedom. They have no idea to give up their personal space or even their mental space. But those are just the tip of the ice burg. There are countless other reasons that men are truly and deeply afraid of commitment that go well beyond these reasons.

These are just some of the issues that your guy may have with the "big C" and why you may be having trouble convincing him to commit.

• He feels like you're pushing him into it. Men like to think that some things are their ideas. This is one of those things. He doesn't want to be talked, poked, prodded, or shoved into it. • He really truly isn't ready. It doesn't matter how wonderful your relationship is sometimes the timing is all wrong. This means you'll either have to wait until he is ready or be willing to walk away. • He has great expectations of bells and whistles and he's just not seeing them in your relationship. Just as women have this fairy tale image of happily ever after, men have this Donna Reed vision of coming home after a long day at work. If he's not getting that picture from you, perhaps you should sit down and talk about what commitment looks like in the real world.

The fact that he's running from commitment doesn't mean that he's running specifically from you. There are times when you may not be the right person for him to commit to. As much as that hurts it's better to find out now than wait until you're trying to get your ex back after your relationship melts down in the future.