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Why Some People Can Never Let Go: Why Commitment Is Not Always Perfect
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Why Some People Can Never Let Go: Why Commitment is Not Always Perfect

When you say "I love you" to someone, it is supposed to be forever, at least, that is the plan for most couples. But, sometimes, even in the best of relationships, commitment is always forever and occasionally there comes the need to say goodbye. What happens when one person decides to walk away but the other person decides that they are going to hold on to the embers of a dying or dead love? It can be harder for the person who will not let go, especially if they do not want to face up to the facts.

Take a young couple from New York as an example. They got together while working at the same company and things were going well until some major changes came along. First, she was offered an executive position which would require a move from their home state to one of two different locations. In the midst of making this major life decision, the couple also found they were expecting a child. They agreed that on where they would move. They also agreed that eventually she would either return to work full time or would agree to have a second child. And, so, they moved and the child was born.

Fast forward nearly a decade: the man has had several different jobs at varying levels in the retail field, unable to stay put in any one position for very long. She has put off the concept of having that second child for as long as possible but now he is really starting to push her to get back to their original plans. They are fighting nearly all of the time now, acrimonious fights that spring up out of nowhere and spiral quickly out of control. Finally, she has had enough and she asks him to leave.

He is convinced that this is only a temporary thing, that she will need him to come back quickly. After all, he is sure that she cannot accomplish anything on her own, discounting the fact that she had been in a supervisory position over him when they met and had continued her education even after things had started going bad between them. What he does not realize is that things really are over between them, no matter how much he wishes and wills them to be better. He will be unable to move on with his own life, unable to accomplish any of the things that she has managed until he digests the fact that they are no longer a couple and never will be again.


Street Talk

Hi Amie, this is a good example of a failed relationship. In this case, the woman probably put off having a second child to focus on her career. She was probably resentful about her husband's failure to hold down jobs. The husband probably felt threatened by his wife's success. They were moving in different directions.

Reply
  about 4 years ago

No, she admitted that she never had any intentions of having the second child to begin with. And, she is largely to blame for him losing a great number of jobs, wanting him to leave work early to do stupid tasks. He was and remains unhappy in Ohio but she tricked him into coming here and now, he has to realize that the relationship he thought they had never really existed in the first place.

Reply
  about 4 years ago

Oh my goodness, that is so sad. I saw something on Facebook posted by a friend. She posted a picture from Women's Rights News. The poster said, "If a relationship doesn't make you a better person, it's the wrong one." It sounds like the man is in the wrong relationship.

  
  about 4 years ago

i like your article Amie

Reply
  about 4 years ago
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