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The experts say that there are some topics that should be off limits when you are arguing with your spouse or romantic partner. That is, they say, you should avoid those particular topics when you are angry and emotions are running high. Psychologists call those "trigger topics" and that is pretty reasonable advice, especially for those couples who are prone to acrimony at the drop of a hat. But, there is another group of experts weighing in on topics, marriage and when those topics should be covered. And for them, the answer is never as in these are topics that should never be discussed between married couples. That is the absolute epitome of very terrible, bad advice.
If you are married to someone, it is generally assumed and accepted that they are your complete partner, an equal participant in the relationship. If there are topics that you are not willing or able to discuss in that marriage, that is a red flag warning sign right there. Whether the topic is seemingly innocuous or something as major and life changing as whether or not to have children, it has some impact on the marriage. If there would be no impact, there would be no harm in the topic coming up, right?
If you cannot discuss money with your spouse, the likelihood of ending up with financial difficulties increases. If you are not able to express your persona feelings,hopes, dreams, thoughts and fears with the person that you are married to, how can you become a happy, well rounded person? By not discussing these things with your mate, you are denying that they exist and that means that you are more than likely neglecting those aspects of yourself.
The experts say they are preventing the trigger topics from becoming a major problem- but that is not true. If you are angry about politics before you deal with your spouse and they bring up politics, that is a problem. However, if you are both sitting in a restaurant and talking like grown adults and any of these topics come up, that should not be enough to start a fight. Communication in a marriage or any other relationship is vitally important. If any of these topics are too much to deal with, that might be a warning that the relationship is not in a stable place. You have to be able to trust that the person you are spending the rest of your life with will be able to face anything that you want to talk with them about; they have to be able to count on the exact same thing from you.
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