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Calling My Ex Boyfriend - What To Do And Say
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Calling My Ex Boyfriend  -  What To Do And Say

Calling your ex boyfriend, or receiving a call from an ex boyfriend is no easy task. Especially if there are still feelings involved and your nerves are at an all time high. You will have to get over this discomfort though if you want it to be a success. The last thing that you want is for your ex boyfriend to know that you are nervous, this will seep into your conversation and make the chat uncomfortable.

You have some work to do as you need to make all contact with him a positive experience from here on in. If you don't he will not want to initiate contact again as it is too awkward or you have been too emotional. That is why you should never bring up any past issues about your relationship or break up. Letting anger and resentment infiltrate your conversation is a big no no. If he knows that you are still not over the break up he will be suspicious of your motives and be more reticent to talk to you.

Being mature and approachable is your goal. Work on this aspect of yourself as much as you can, even practice mock phone calls with your ex boyfriend and cover points that you have pre written. This will make sure that any subsequent phone calls with him will remain focused and not spiral out of control. You want the conversations to be brief at first and not give too much away.

How You Should Behave Before And During Contact

If you think that all of your hard work is going to be for nothing, you're mistaken. A woman who is confident, happy and self-assured is a lot more attractive than one who just sits around complaining about things that are ultimately out of her control. You may find that you're catching a lot more eyes than just your ex-boyfriend, but he's definitely among the crowd. In essence you may be returning to a version of you that initially caught his interest when you two first met. You're refusing to remain mired in a past relationship. Instead, you're working actively in the present to create a more positive, fulfilling future.

During this phase you should not be contacting him or showing any interest in him whatsoever. If your paths cross, never be rude to him, always be pleasant and calm. If he does call you then you should not answer on the first ring or jump on the phone once you hear it vibrate - your desperation will be very obvious and his male pride will subsequently inflate.

During the phone call you should always act as though your life is good, but don't labor the point too much or you will come across as disingenuous. Answer his questions without giving too much away - you don't want to lie here, but it is imperative that he fills in the blanks himself and his paranoia goes into overdrive about what you have been up to, this will make it easy to get him back in the future.

Why No Contact Works

If you ask most guys what the biggest deflation to their often over-filled ego is, it isn't rejection at a club or bar - it's finding out their ex is doing just fine and happily enjoying their new lives, regardless of how long it has been since the relationship ended. You've already undergone a complete attitude makeover, and it's now time to face the world - minus your ex-boyfriend. If he avoided you like the plague after the breakup, it is now your turn.

Refuse to contact him and avoid places where you know he'll be. If you have mutual friends, be careful what information you share with them in case they pass it on. Your life, your options and your time are now completely your own and if he wants to know what's going on, he's going to have to come out of the woodwork. Up to this point, it has been incredibly easy for him to keep an eye on you. Now you're going to make it nearly impossible.

How He Will React To This

No one wants to feel like they missed their chance at something good - especially when it's due to their own inaction. Your ex-boyfriend feels like he missed the boat. He's close enough to see it sailing off into the sunset but unable to jump on board. That means some drastic action needs to be taken - and you've already regained control of the power struggle. Losing you permanently is not going to be a risk he's willing to make - not if he still has feelings for you.

By keeping your head and staying calm, you're reinforcing your position and you're easily on higher ground. You put in the effort to adjust your mentality long before this conversation took place. Now the rewards are starting to pour in and it's good to see some recognition for all of your efforts.

Your Next Steps

Calling your ex boyfriend is only half the battle. Have you read about the no contact rule before you embark upon this journey? If not then it would be a good idea, you don't want to be calling him prematurely when he will not be receptive to your attempts.

There are also things that you should be doing in the background to make him want you back. Get these things right and he will be the one that is trying to contact you and get back together.

Street Talk

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