This Article is About
resentment
nerves
motives
conversations
anger
crowd
feelings
relationship
Calling My Ex Boyfriend - What To Do And Say
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Calling My Ex Boyfriend  -  What To Do And Say

Calling your ex boyfriend, or receiving a call from an ex boyfriend is no easy task. Especially if there are still feelings involved and your nerves are at an all time high. You will have to get over this discomfort though if you want it to be a success. The last thing that you want is for your ex boyfriend to know that you are nervous, this will seep into your conversation and make the chat uncomfortable.

You have some work to do as you need to make all contact with him a positive experience from here on in. If you don't he will not want to initiate contact again as it is too awkward or you have been too emotional. That is why you should never bring up any past issues about your relationship or break up. Letting anger and resentment infiltrate your conversation is a big no no. If he knows that you are still not over the break up he will be suspicious of your motives and be more reticent to talk to you.

Being mature and approachable is your goal. Work on this aspect of yourself as much as you can, even practice mock phone calls with your ex boyfriend and cover points that you have pre written. This will make sure that any subsequent phone calls with him will remain focused and not spiral out of control. You want the conversations to be brief at first and not give too much away.

How You Should Behave Before And During Contact

If you think that all of your hard work is going to be for nothing, you're mistaken. A woman who is confident, happy and self-assured is a lot more attractive than one who just sits around complaining about things that are ultimately out of her control. You may find that you're catching a lot more eyes than just your ex-boyfriend, but he's definitely among the crowd. In essence you may be returning to a version of you that initially caught his interest when you two first met. You're refusing to remain mired in a past relationship. Instead, you're working actively in the present to create a more positive, fulfilling future.

During this phase you should not be contacting him or showing any interest in him whatsoever. If your paths cross, never be rude to him, always be pleasant and calm. If he does call you then you should not answer on the first ring or jump on the phone once you hear it vibrate - your desperation will be very obvious and his male pride will subsequently inflate.

During the phone call you should always act as though your life is good, but don't labor the point too much or you will come across as disingenuous. Answer his questions without giving too much away - you don't want to lie here, but it is imperative that he fills in the blanks himself and his paranoia goes into overdrive about what you have been up to, this will make it easy to get him back in the future.

Why No Contact Works

If you ask most guys what the biggest deflation to their often over-filled ego is, it isn't rejection at a club or bar - it's finding out their ex is doing just fine and happily enjoying their new lives, regardless of how long it has been since the relationship ended. You've already undergone a complete attitude makeover, and it's now time to face the world - minus your ex-boyfriend. If he avoided you like the plague after the breakup, it is now your turn.

Refuse to contact him and avoid places where you know he'll be. If you have mutual friends, be careful what information you share with them in case they pass it on. Your life, your options and your time are now completely your own and if he wants to know what's going on, he's going to have to come out of the woodwork. Up to this point, it has been incredibly easy for him to keep an eye on you. Now you're going to make it nearly impossible.

How He Will React To This

No one wants to feel like they missed their chance at something good - especially when it's due to their own inaction. Your ex-boyfriend feels like he missed the boat. He's close enough to see it sailing off into the sunset but unable to jump on board. That means some drastic action needs to be taken - and you've already regained control of the power struggle. Losing you permanently is not going to be a risk he's willing to make - not if he still has feelings for you.

By keeping your head and staying calm, you're reinforcing your position and you're easily on higher ground. You put in the effort to adjust your mentality long before this conversation took place. Now the rewards are starting to pour in and it's good to see some recognition for all of your efforts.

Your Next Steps

Calling your ex boyfriend is only half the battle. Have you read about the no contact rule before you embark upon this journey? If not then it would be a good idea, you don't want to be calling him prematurely when he will not be receptive to your attempts.

There are also things that you should be doing in the background to make him want you back. Get these things right and he will be the one that is trying to contact you and get back together.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
A Little Searching for Examples; A Way to Lessen Resentment
I wonder if you have ever woken up and thought; Oh God, not again. I know I have. Day after day of that daily routine which is common to most if not all of us can simply wear us down to the point where we think; that’s it; I’m not…
By: David Fairley in  Self Improvement  >  Positive Attitude   Nov 22, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Tips to Quell Anger And Resentment
Here are some tips to help you quell resentment and anger: 1. Avoid holding grudges altogether. If someone has offended you, confront the person if you have to, or use legal measures to ensure that justice is served. If these two options are inapplicable because the offense to your personal…
By: Doreen Cardona in  Health and Fitness  >  Emotional Freedom Technique   Feb 25, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Anger And Resentment
When someone is being unfair or unjust, sometimes you wish that he would vanish into thin air. If you do think this way, it is better to re-evaluate what resentment actually does to a person. It is quite easy to hate someone and feel resentful because of past misdeeds. It…
By: Doreen Cardona in  Health and Fitness  >  Emotional Freedom Technique   Feb 24, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Get An Ex Boyfriend Back
If you want to get back together with an ex boyfriend, don’t worry, it can be done. Many women have successfully managed to get back together with an ex and enjoy a long term relationship. In fact, sometimes these relationships are stronger as a result of the break up and…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Aug 21, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

How to Move on When Your Husband Had An Affair
I often get correspondence from wives who are asking me “how to move on” after their husband has had an affair. For some, the term “move on” means leaving their husband behind and starting over alone. For others, it means moving on within their marriage with their husband by their…
By: Katie Lersch in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Mar 21, 2011  
0
  Likes: 11

What You Need to Know About Your Partners Ex
Dear Readers, In my previous article I addressed 5 points about the very complicated “partner’s ex dynamics.” In that article, I argued (in your favor of course) that you, the current partner, have ALL the rights to feel, in many aspects, if not all, hehe, validated, entitled, valued, listened to,…
By: Dr. Maya-Willi in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Aug 31, 2011  
0
  Likes: 3

Hate Is By Choice
I am truly astonished and amazed by all the hate in the world. Well truthfully I am not but it really is a wonder to me how so many people can go around with so much hate in their hearts. What makes you hate someone or something so much? Well…
By: Julie Larralde in  Self Improvement  >  Personal Growth   Apr 11, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Accept, Tolerate Or Reject “the Behavior”
Trying to study my case, I have realized that up till a while back I have been part of a dysfunctional couple, in which we may or may not have fought, but we did hold onto grudges. We have let things build up way too much. Do you know what…
By: Alexandra1 in  Relationships   May 08, 2012  
0
  Likes: 6

How To Act Around Your Ex After the Break Up
You had the break up and went your separate ways, but chances are you may run into each other again. In just such an occasion it is important to know how to act around your ex after the breakup. Seeing your ex again may be difficult. One of you still…
By:  in  Relationships   Jul 19, 2012  
1
  Likes: 10

Relationship Cheating - You Can Stop It In Its Tracks
When we talk about relationship cheating there are numerous factors that contribute to infidelity. I'm not condoning cheating, physical or emotional, It just that when 2 people are struggling to rebuild a relationship after infidelity, it obviously will help a great deal knowing where it came from. Not many people…
By: Garry2 in  Relationships  >  Affairs   Jan 18, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

7 Tips for Dealing With Interview Nerves
Most people attending a job interview will feel nervous or suffer from some feelings of anxiety but it’s important that these feelings don’t get out of hand and have a detrimental effect on the overall interview performance. If you’re someone who routinely gets nervous and stressed, it’s important that you…
By: BIS_Coach in  Business  >  Interviews   Aug 22, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Things That Get On My Nerves
I consider myself to be an easygoing person. I believe that I am easy to live with, work with, and get along with. Like most people, however, I also have things that get on my nerves. One thing that bugs me is issues with the Internet. I live in a…
By: Hollie E. Townsend in  Self Improvement   Jul 27, 2012  
6
  Likes: 4

What To Do When Your Ex Boyfriend Contacts You
When your ex boyfriend contacts you out of the blue it can come as a shock. Hopefully it is a pleasant one and the communication between you both is not stilted and hostile. It is difficult to know how to respond to his efforts at communication, especially if you weren't…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Communication   Sep 05, 2012  
3
  Likes: 5

Public Speaking - How I Overcame My Fears
Have you ever asked yourself these questions about public speaking? There I was, standing in front of a group of people that I didn't even know, and they thought I was an expert on today’s topic. It was my first time ever speaking to such a large group, but my…
By: Josiah Dalimar in  Business  >  Presentation   Oct 13, 2012  
1
  Likes: 0

How Can I Get My Ex To Miss Me After We Broke Up?
You and your ex used to be nearly inseparable. When you were apart, all you could think about was being together. You looked forward to every shared moment you got to spend and life seemed full of rainbows and sunshine. That's before reality kicked you in the butt and your…
By: Isabella Rose in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Nov 09, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Article Views: 1668    Report this Article