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Wrong Messenger
A few days ago while reading the newspaper, there was a story about tennis star Serena Williams, receiving coaching instructions from her older sister Venus. These instructions from father to her, because he felt she could get Serena to do anything. After the match, he congratulated Venus for doing a magnificent job.
But what is really happening here, you have a father who is probably one of the best tennis coach in the world, he has trained two daughters to the pinnacle of the tennis world. He is a hard task master, because he had made earlier comments that he was not interested in training other people children, because he is strict. His daughters are no longer girls but grown women, they may resent his tone now, despite they know he has their interest at heart, they have evolved and he has not.
This is a common problem that we face in our daily lives. Communication when presented in a cordial way is acceptable to all. People are going to get offended if the tone of the instruction or question is not presented in the right fashion to them. This is an example of the right message but the wrong messenger.
Words And Effect
When I was growing up, there was a folk story, which states, " stick and stones my broke my bones, but words cannot harm me". This story is not true , and I say that because, I have never seen a rock or a piece of stick, hurt anybody on its own, it always happens with a little help from somebody or some thing.
For centuries we heard, that words couldn't harm us, and some people still believe that today, arguments and fight all start with words, every hour of the day we have crime, all over the world, because of the way words are presentation, which result in anger from the receiver of verbal barrage.
But how did we get ourselves in this problem in the first place. We know from in the beginning of times, men always had a difficulty controlling emotions of anger, you sometime wonder what is the benefit or purpose, could man not survive without anger? or is it a defensive measure?. That we have not learned to control or understand.
A Fight that Resulted In Murder
About a week ago two cousins, from the Settlement of Curtis Bahamas, got in an argument, which escalated to a fight, one turned to leave, and chopped to death. A few hours after his anger fade away, he realized what he did and the penalty for his crime, he became remorseful. (To Late)
The bible states:
Soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
Swift to hear and slow to speak.
Parents do not provoke your children to anger.
Controlling One's Anger Requires Wisdom
I really believe one of the most important gifts a person can have is slow to speak in any communication, this gives you an opportunity to think before your comment increase the tempo of an argument. Soft response always a bonus, grievous words always developed into terrible outcomes. And parents let us not create another generation of angry adults.
It is indeed really difficult to control anger, and it can do so much harm. You could not write a better ending, I loved all your 4 articles
Marie, nice to hear from you and thanks for your comment.
Words can not only hurt, they can sear your soul. And tte harsh words can replay like a movie in your head if you let them. Not a good thing. Always better to think before you speak. Great article!
Hello Lacey, nice to hear from you, thanks for your comment.
A great article Alfred.. something for all to learn the art of communication... with grown daughters, two of them, I know how it feels to have to take a step back and rather talk than command...
Rob thanks for your comment, shoot me your email, I want to tallk to you about something..
Alfred go to my public profile under the Bulldogsturf web site open it and look at contact me, my email address is there...
My daughter was very easy to communicate with but my girlfriends kids are very difficult and it takes a lot of work communicating with them.
Its going to take a little, they were brought up by other people, it requires work.
I strongly agree with you....proved it to myself and kids. I always approached my 3 already grown up kids...in a soft tone of voice and we communicate to each other very often...very powerful. You truly made a good points there, Alfred. Thanks!
Communicating is something we do all the time, but perfecting it to satisfy can be a challage .
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