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Do Not Send These Text Messages To Your Ex If You Want To Get Him Back
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Do Not Send These Text Messages To Your Ex If You Want To Get Him Back

There is no magic incantation that can be sent via text message that will send your ex boyfriend swooning back into your arms like your breakup never took place. Fairy tales are nice ideas in principle, but real life is much different. While learning the right things to say is a valuable and important thing to learn, it's equally important to know what NOT to say.

The right thing can take many forms and can be played with, twisted and altered to fit your personality and your style without making much of a difference. If you say the wrong thing, though, your chances could easily slip through your fingers. Unlike your phone there is no handset protection insurance for broken relationships or broken hope.

There are five basic principles found commonly in post-breakup texts that should be avoided like the plague unless you want to chase your ex away for good. If you can successfully avoid these five mistakes, you're already increasing your chances of successfully reuniting with your ex and getting your relationship back. Don't send texts to your ex that are in any way similar to the ones below!

1) The Over-Sincere and Drawn-Out Apology

Avoid the common trap that many people find themselves in after a breakup. Apologies are good in the right circumstances, but you can easily find yourself in an apology trap. You find yourself apologizing over and over again for wrongdoings that don't even matter. If you know that you made a mistake in judgment and you genuinely did something wrong, of course an apology is warranted. But repeating yourself on an endless loop will do nothing to heal the cracks in your relationship and no amount of "I'm sorry" is going to suddenly change their minds. Apologize once for your mistakes and missteps and let it go. Continual apologies regardless of their sincerity only make you look desperate for validation and needy.

This is an example of what should be avoided: "please, please forgive me. I feel so guilty, and I can't possibly apologize enough. What can I do to make it up to you? I can guarantee that I will never hurt you like that again, and I'm so sorry that I caused you pain"

2) Groveling

The last thing you want to do is appear insecure to your ex. If you've already asked for a second chance, it's possible that you employed some pleading into your request - maybe you've even begged your ex to take you back. These cry of needless desperation and they make you appear weak. They won't help you get your ex back. They'll probably want to avoid contact with you if this kind of behavior continues.

Example: "I'll do anything you want if you'll just give me a chance to make things better. I'll do whatever it takes to get another chance with you"

3) Last Chance For Romance

Often during a breakup or immediately following one, the party who was dumped goes into a frantic state of alarm. They panic. They don't know what to do, and they fear that sitting there for another minute without taking drastic action means that they've lost their opportunity forever and their ex is long gone. People who have been dumped see these messages as their last chance to win their ex back by confessing adoration and commitment to them or trying to woo them into submission. They want their ex to suddenly take back everything they said, and they want an abrupt change of heart. These make you seem immature and desperate and do nothing to improve your chances of an eventual reconciliation.

Example: "you mean everything to me. Seeing you with anyone else would absolutely kill me and I can't take it. I would be lost without you; I just love you so much"

4) The Purposeless Message

These texts that are deemed "purposeless" are texts in which nothing of value is said. They're more annoying than helpful in winning back your ex and do nothing to help your case. While they don't go so far as to portray you in a negative light, they do nothing to help your cause either. They don't foster communication and they can easily leave a conversation dead in the water. They are perfect at creating moments of silence that are often uncomfortable for both parties. Creating an atmosphere of awkwardness will do nothing to further your cause - no one likes to feel on the spot.

These texts are common when you feel at a loss. You want to talk to your ex, but you're not sure how to strike up a conversation. You find yourself reaching out to your ex solely to boost your self-esteem, and you're not thinking at all about their potential reaction. This is a classic yet dangerous mistake. You may be curious to see if you will receive a reply - but it's better to say nothing than to send a message full of nothing but nonsense.

Example: "what are you up to?" or "Hey"

5) The Continual Barrage

Have you ever caught yourself composing a text in order to find out why your ex didn't respond to your last text? If the answer is yes - okay. Since the answer is yes, and you've more likely been guilty of this mistake repeatedly, you need to take a good look at this common texting mistake. You don't want to put any unnecessary strain on your ex, or they're more than likely going to stop responding to you at all.

No one likes to feel like they're obligated to respond to someone or that they're being kept on someone else's time frame. Remember - the relationship is over. Your ex isn't obligated to respond to you at all and if you keep this behavior going, they're likely to stop responding completely. If you truly want to get him back, you will have to understand this first.

Example: "Why haven't you responded to my other two texts? Are you busy? You're not responding to me! Are you getting my messages?"

Next Steps

The key to successfully regaining your relationship is to foster goodwill and create a positive impression on your ex boyfriend. This will be easier now that you're aware of common text mistakes that can be avoided. Use social media sites like Facebook to your advantage as well in your communication with your ex boyfriend. The great thing about Facebook is that you can portray a message to him without direct contact, this is subtle and it works! Use these powerful Facebook techniques to make him crazy about you again.

If your ex is displaying the telltale signs that he's moving on, however, it's best just to let him go. There's no use chasing a sailed ship, and you're only setting yourself up for more heartbreak down the line. Learn to read the signs he still loves you before going any further.


Street Talk

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