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Ex Is Contacting Me Again - What Do They Want?
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Ex Is Contacting Me Again  -  What Do They Want?

If you've got a phone that goes with you everywhere (so much so that it doesn't seem like you could live without it) it's probably safe to assume that you're familiar with texting. It is THE way to contact another person - quick and painless contact that can be done on a whim. It's easy to take texting for granted, though. While you and your ex were together, you exchanged texts like nobody's business.

You thought that those texts would stop as soon as your relationship ended - and who could blame you? Breakups by definition mean that two people have taken a step to each go a different way, which would naturally lead to the assumption that they'd have no further need to reach out and talk to each other, right? Why, then, is your ex reaching out and sending you an unexpected text-message - and why now, of all times?

If your ex is still texting you consistently after breaking up with you, there's likely something more going on. What could it mean? Are they starting to doubt the breakup, or are they just trying to be nice? Is it simply a matter of saying hi, or are they looking for a purely platonic relationship?

Are Their Motives Clear?

It's highly likely that your ex isn't aware of their own motives for reaching out and sending you a few texts. If there's one thing that you can be certain of, though, it wasn't simply done out of boredom or just to play nice. Your ex has been missing you, and in the process of missing you, you have been a constant subject of their thoughts. Those thoughts ultimately were powerful enough to get them to pick up the phone and send you a text message. That action alone took a lot of nerve. The fact that it was an action that your ex was willing to take speaks volumes - even when their own reasons for texting you may not be something they're willing to openly express.

It's possible that, contrary to normal breakups, your ex simply wants to allow communication to remain open, for whatever reason that makes sense to them. It's not cut and dry, and you should avoid jumping to unnecessary or baseless assumptions. Your future relationship is still vulnerable, and the future is hardly set in stone. Instead of putting on your party hat and assuming that everything is going to get back to normal, look at the scenario honestly. Can you read into what your ex is saying without interjecting your own hope into the interpretation? Approaching things cautiously and realistically can go a long way towards rebuilding your relationship and making the positive transition back to a romantic relationship all over again.

How Often are the Messages Happening?

There is one exception to the rule of innocent or valid types of contact. After a breakup, it's normal for some things to remain unresolved. You may share property together or leave some lingering traces of each other behind. Ultimately, these factors need to be resolved before either of you can hope to successfully move on. If your ex texts you only a handful of times about genuine concerns or matters that need to be cleared up, they most likely have pure intentions and aren't looking for anything more out of their contact.

That being said, most of the time your ex is not going to text you for a valid reason. They're going to be looking for information, all right, but not necessarily the information necessary for them to move on. They'll be looking for information on how you're doing, how you're handling the breakup - and how you feel about them. This type of leading curiosity has a lot more to do with them than it does with you. They want to know where you stand in case they have a change of heart about leaving you - and they may even resort to flirting with you in an attempt to discern your reaction to the possibility of reconciliation.

Can the Time of Day make a Difference?

Simply put: Absolutely. When did you and your ex spend the most time together before you broke up? If they're texting you at around that time frequently, it's safe to assume that they're missing your previous connection and they're trying to keep the loneliness at bay as long as possible.

If they're texting you on the weekends, they're probably frustrated with all of their free time. They thought that the single life would be filled with parties, friends and lots of fun. Instead, they're finding themselves at home alone - and they don't quite know how to handle it. They may insist that things are going great and that life couldn't be better - but if that was the case, why are they taking the time to text their ex? The truth is probably vastly different than the reality that they're trying to convey - and likewise trying to convince themselves that everything is fine.

The last possibility is even less pleasant. If it seems like your ex is going out of their way to try and make you jealous of their new found life - they probably are. Don't take it personally, and whatever you do - don't overreact. Try to take their messages with a grain or twenty of salt. If they're intentionally trying to provoke you, don't take the bait.

What is Your Ideal Response?

If you're trying to get back together, you don't want to give into your gut instinct to react. In fact, if you're NOT trying to get back together, you should refrain from reacting as well. Your ex is looking for a reaction - any reaction. If you get jealous and have a fit, they'll see it as a sign that you're desperate and waiting for the opportunity to get back together. They'll also naturally get an ego-boost and recognize that, although the single life isn't quite what they had in mind, they have a handy back-up plan. They'll know that they can go back to the safety of a relationship with you, someone who already cares for them, is attracted to them and clearly wants to get back together.

Your best plan is to make a plan. Put your ducks in a row and play it out when the timing is right. Not only is it possible for you to get your ex back, it's possible for you to do it in a way that makes it seem like their idea.

What's Next?

If your ex is contacting you again there is a reason behind it, their fingers just don't accidentally formulate a text that magically lands in your inbox. The question is, what are you going to do about it? Do you want the texts and contact to continue or do you want to nip it in the bud? If you are at all interested in your ex and feel that you want to win your ex back, then you have to start now before their interest in you dwindles.

First step is to get to grips with contacting your ex. When you get this part right you will create an atmosphere of intrigue and mystery - much like it was at the start of your relationship. Do you want to know if your ex really does like you? Look out for signs ex still loves you to be sure.


Street Talk

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