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Ex Is Sending Me Texts - Why?
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Ex Is Sending Me Texts  -  Why?

It's almost impossible to live in today's society without a cell-phone, and cell phones are equipped with all sorts of fancy technology that is easy to take for granted. With the endless forward march of technology, texts have become the easiest way to reach out and make contact. They're simple, cheap and effective means of keeping in touch, without having to put your busy schedule on hold.

You and your ex used to text each other almost constantly while you were together, but now that the relationship has ended, you thought those messages would stop. It's a natural part of the process when a relationship has come to an end. Two people used to share a connection, and now they're starting to move apart. When your ex sent you a text, it shocked you to the core - and it's likely that you didn't quite know what to make of it.

When your ex texts you after a breakup, what does it mean for you? Is it just wishful thinking to try and read something more into it when they may just be trying to be nice? Is there an underlying reason for their attempts to reach out, or should you chalk it up as a mere chance and nothing more?

Are Their Texts Innocent?

It's time to get to the heart of the matter and cut through all the residual confusion - at least if you want to be able to move forward proactively. No matter what your ex's ultimate intentions may be, it's certain that they're unwilling to let go of you (or your relationship) go entirely - at least not right away. They usually have an agenda in mind if they're willing to reach out and establish contact. It's possible that they're trying to keep the door between you open - an escape hatch in case things don't go the way they expect. It's also possible that they're trying to determine where you stand in regards to the breakup, and to your overall emotional state.

Don't hold your breath while waiting for a forthcoming explanation. Your ex isn't going to divulge their intentions clearly. They have got a whole closet-full of excuses ready-made if you should question their motives directly.

Regardless of underlying motivations, plans or circumstances, you can take comfort in two basic truths. One: your ex misses you. Two: You have been a constant subject of your ex's thoughts - and those thoughts were powerful enough to make them reach out and establish contact when you least expected it. Your ex took a big risk by reaching out and making contact. What you do with that information is ultimately up to you, but so far it seems clear that you're moving in the right direction.

Are Your Ex's Messages Consistent?

After a breakup, a lot of loose ends remain. No matter how clean-cut the split was, not everything can be resolved in the space of a single day. Your ex may have left some things behind at your place, or you may need to come up with a schedule to hammer out some residual issues. These messages may not be what you want to hear, but they are valid ones. If these messages are the kind of messages that your ex is sending your way, take them at face value. Try to be polite, helpful and get them out of the way quickly. The last thing you want is to feel like your ex is leading you on - or to frighten them off by acting clingy or desperate.

Other texts may not be so cut and dry. Your ex may act like they're flirting with you, and it's hard for you to wrap your mind around the concept. Your ex may be asking you a lot of pointed questions as well - questions about your feelings and your state of mind that seem to be none of their concern. These kinds of texts are designed to give them the inside track on your state of mind, and it's a good sign that they're at least considering the possibility of reconciliation now - or at least some point in the future.

How Time of Day Plays into Interpretation:

If you want an almost fail-proof insight into your ex's frame of mind (as confusing and frustrating as it may be) take a look at when they're sending their texts. If you and your ex spent the majority of your evenings together and they're primarily texting you around the same time you spent together when you were still dating, they're missing the connection that you once shared. Your ex is finding it hard to break old, positive habits, and that means that you're in an incredibly good position.

Not all texts will sit well with you, however. Don't be too surprised if your ex resorts to texting you over the weekend - or after a night out on the town. They may find that alcohol naturally lowers their inhibitions, and while their garbled messages may seem humorous at first, they have an underlying twinge that awakens something inside of you that is inherently unpleasant - jealousy.

The fact of the matter is simple. If your ex seems to be trying their hardest to get a reaction out of you, don't give them one. Giving them exactly what they want (or expect) can only cement their perception of you and turn a bad situation even worse. If you feel sick to your stomach about the message or its content, take the high road. It's not worth getting upset over - in fact, it can demonstrate your ex's weakness as clear as day. If they're looking for jealousy, it's because they're feeling insecure and vulnerable. The best reaction, therefore, is simple - don't give them a reaction at all.

How Should You Handle These Messages?

When it comes to breakups and things seem uncertain, the best reaction to display is a lack of a reaction. It's easy to overreact to uncomfortable situations, but an overreaction cannot be taken back later on down the road, and it can certainly hurt your chances for getting what you want or need.

The last thing you want your ex to think is that you've been sitting at home alone waiting to hear from you. If you take it upon yourself to instantly respond to every message they send, they'll deduce that they can have you whenever they want you - and that will not only decrease their attraction to you, but give them a built in safety net that enables them to go do anything that they feel like doing, regardless of your underlying feelings.

What's Next?

Knowing how to contact your ex at this stage is crucial if you want to win your ex back. If you get this part right you could well be on your way to reconciling with them. There are also things that you can do to work out where you really stand with your ex. If you are still confused about how your ex really feels about you then you need to look at the signs your ex loves you. Some of these will be less obvious than others and they rely on interpreting their behaviour and reading between the lines of what they say.


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