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He Said, She Heard
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I have always been fascinated by the differences in which men and women communicate with each other. Women often seem to assume some sort of disconnect between what men say and what they actually mean. But men really are much simpler than that.

If there are any ladies reading this, let me give you a little insight into how men think.

If you ask us a question, we will usually assume that you want an honest answer. There are situations however where the "right" answer is much more desirable than an honest answer.

For example: "Do you think that girl is pretty?" is a strait forward, simple question but the wrong answer can have serious negative consequences for us guy's. These kind of questions can be a real dilemma. If giving you the "right" answer rather than an honest answer leads to a positive response on your end, we will be more inclined to look for the right answer and not even consider the honesty route. The point being, don't ask questions if the answer may be uncomfortable for you.

If we say something that can be taken in more than one way and one of those ways is hurtful, we probably meant the other way. I know that sounds like a convenient cop out but it is often the case. If you want to know what we really meant, ask, don't assume.

If we ask you "what's wrong?" and you say "nothing", we will behave as if nothing's wrong. We don't do that to be irritating and we are well aware that something is in fact "wrong". But we are not mind readers and we don't like guessing games. Think about it, should we really be expected to beg you to tell us how WE messed up? Would you?

If you ask us to do something and we don't do it right away, it's not because we want to defy your wishes and it's not because we don't care that you want something done. Many men spend all day doing things they don't want to do for a boss they don't care for. Their home is their their sanctuary. A place where they can do things on their own terms. So please ladies, don't take it personally.

Men are not completely innocent when it comes to miscommunication. We also have a tendency to make assumptions about what we think we heard. Guy's, have you ever asked a woman what she meant by asking a certain question? I have and the answers have been quite interesting. This often lead to me asking the next question: "why didn't you just ask it that way in the first place?". The usual response is, "I knew what I meant the first time!"

It's a funny thing, but men and women seem to be wired with different codes in our brains. Men can communicate with other men by using nothing more than primitive grunting sounds while women communicate with other women in much more elaborate codes. Codes that they can decipher without the slightest bit of mental effort.

Men and women will never fully understand each other and I don't think we where meant to. But hey, that's part of what makes women so interesting to me.


Street Talk

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