Let’s talk about “arguing” for a moment, and the effect it has on your relationship. If you learn why people argue you will have a better understanding of how to avoid fights in your own relationship. If you don’t read and learn what I will teach you, you might find yourself in a fight with your partner, feeling frustrated and not knowing what to do. If you are arguing a lot you could very well be heading for a break up and you will be left alone.

Maybe you have noticed that many people have constant or at least frequent arguing “session” with their partner. People argue in the store, in their homes, on the parking lot and every other imaginable place you could think of.

Researchers in human behavior have found that there are a few TOP REASONS that couples argue with each other. The most obvious answer to why people argue is to “get what you want”. The not so obvious answer to why people argue is to find out what they believe and what other people believe.

Let me explain what that means to you. First, “get what you want” is not all about being selfish, sometimes, surprisingly, just the opposite. Maybe you would like your partner to understand you better or you to understand them better. You might want a child to think for itself and learn how to make their very own decisions.

Secondly people argue to understand other people better. When you argue you learn about the person you are arguing with. From an argument you might come to understand WHAT the other person believe about the issue and WHY they believe it. From an argument you get insights not only into your partners’ standpoint but actually you could get a much better understanding of your partners’ beliefs and value.

Now, I’m sure that you can clearly see that there is more to an argument then would be obvious at a first glance. Armed with this knowledge you can use it to your advantage. How? The next time you get into an argument with your partner you will remember what you have just learnt and instead of going crazy and defending yourself, shouting back and not listening, you will take a step back and remember that there is something to learn from your partner. You stop arguing back and instead you start getting curious about what you can learn from your partner when he or she is arguing with you. LISTEN to your partner, WHAT is the saying and WHY do they say what they say? Now that you have a mission, a secret one, you can concentrate on you mission instead and listen to your partner. When you listen to someone magic will start to happen. The argument will go away just like a wave rises and then falls back. You will have less fights and less arguing and you will get closer to each other. And the cool thing is that the only person that has to change is you! No need to talk your partner in to doing something special or asking for his or her permission or anything of that sort. You are the one who can bring the change.

Here’s your action plan to have less arguing and fighting – so you can stop your break up and increase your attraction to your partner:

1. Read this article again tomorrow to make sure you remember what you have learned
2. Commit to take a step back and LISTEN to your partner the next time there is an argument (remember your secret mission!)

RIGHT NOW: It’s time to take action to get this into place in your own life… so that you start doing what it takes to get the relationship that you want, to attract your partner and start building a future together. Print this article or bookmark it for you to read tomorrow and put a note in your calendar to make sure you remember to do so.

To your best,

~ David