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How To Talk To Ex Boyfriend If You Want Him Back
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How To Talk To Ex Boyfriend If You Want Him Back

You're usually so good with words but when it comes to talking to your ex-boyfriend you've become suddenly mute. It's been awhile since you've heard from him, but he's been on your mind constantly and you want nothing more than to win him back. You're afraid of tense silences or weird pauses in conversation - and this is someone you used to talk to for hours. Instead of risking the possibility of sticking your foot in your mouth, prepare yourself instead. The more aware you are of what to say and how to respond, the better your chances will be of making a good impression - and getting him to call you again.

Stop playing his game by continuing contact - in fact, stop it completely. If he wants to know how you're doing, he's going to have to ask. Without instant availability, his curiosity is going to quickly become overwhelming. What if you're already gone for good and you're moving on? No guy ever wants to see their ex happy and well-adjusted and leaving him behind. He is secretly betting that you still want him - and that inner voice that's telling him that may no longer be the case is going to cause some major damage to his own self-confidence.

Inevitably your ex is going to reach for that phone but if he thinks he can slide by with a text or email, make him think again. Ignore any attempts to make contact that does not involve a real-life, personal phone call and make him wait for it. You don't want him to think that he has you at his beck and call. He can't just decide that he wants to talk to you suddenly because he's feeling insecure so he can simply get ahold of you whenever the mood strikes. You should avoid all contact with your ex for at least three weeks - if not more, learn more about this no contact rule and how it works. Only then will both of you be in the correct frame of mind. You'll be calm and rational and he'll be freaking out. That's your golden opportunity. Don't blow it due to your excitement to hear from him.

You want to take his curiosity to the next level. Instead of allowing him to believe that he doesn't stand to lose anything by ending the relationship (because he still thinks he can come back to you whenever he's so inclined) show him that he's wrong. He may lose the possibility of getting back together with you and that will make him view the breakup differently and it will start to make him increasingly uncomfortable. If any romantic feelings towards you are present, the stark reality of losing you is going to wake him up in a way that will be undeniable.

When your ex-boyfriend talks to you, stay calm. If you don't know how to contain your enthusiasm your best option is to not say much at all. He's the one that took the initiate to call, which means you're not responsible for carrying the conversation. You don't want it to go on endlessly either. Keep it very simple and brief. Sound detached but not completely uninterested. You've got a lot going on these days, but you're choosing to answer his call. For the initial moment of contact, that should be more than sufficient - although maybe not what he was hoping for.

This phone call isn't going to be nearly as awkward as you may fear and the reason is simple - you're going to keep it as short as possible without coming across as rude. Let your ex know that you're happy he called (but not overly so) and ask him what's up. He may explain why he called, or he may stumble his way around small talk for a few minutes. Be prepared to call the conversation to a close by informing him (also politely) that he didn't catch you at a very good time but maybe the two of you can catch up another time. Then excuse yourself from the call by simply telling him that you have to go.

If he wants to know when he can call again, leave the option open without making any suggestions as to when that should be. If he's curious enough about your plans, you're definitely headed in the right direction. Don't refuse to tell him but don't spill the beans either. It can be as simple as going out with friends or running to the store to pick up a few things. Whatever it is, make sure you actually do get out of the house after your conversation. Getting some fresh air will help you process the call and clear your mind.

While you're off doing the happy dance and celebrating the fact that he made the first step, your ex-boyfriend is going to be feeling anything but happy. That conversation, no matter how brief it turned out to be was a slap to the ego. You're not chasing him. You're not begging for another chance. In fact, you seem happy and content with your life and you're staying busy. What if it's already too late and you've moved on? What if you're already over him? What if he doesn't have a chance to get you back at all - and that's what he was counting on?

It's like you snuck into an inner vault inside of him and snatched up all of his savings when he wasn't looking and now that funds are running low, he has nothing to fall back on. If you were his safety net, he's swinging in the breeze and he's fully aware of how high he is - and how there's nothing to catch him if he falls. He has to realize that he may lose you for good and this is going to be unacceptable if there are any lingering feelings left in his heart for you at all.

Truthfully, knowing how to talk to your ex boyfriend is simple - as little as possible. Apart from that, work on adjusting your mental state prior to the call. The payoff is worth it and so are you.

Your Next Steps

If you want to increase the regularity of talking to your ex boyfriend you have to do more things. Hopefully your end goal is to get him back, so you need to work out how he really feels about you first. There are signs he still likes you, so look out for these if you want to know what your chances are. Also make sure that you don't make any of these break up mistakes, they could drastically change the way your ex boyfriend views you.


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