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overwhelming emotions
highs and lows
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I Want To Contact My Ex Boyfriend - Read This First
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I Want To Contact My Ex Boyfriend  -  Read This First

So you want to contact your ex boyfriend. You can't just send a text and expect your ex to immediately want to get back together. Contacting your ex boyfriend is simply the first part of an often long process that will take you through highs and lows that will have to be overcome in order to win him back. By knowing when to act and what to say you can increase your chances tremendously. Follow this guide and you're already a step ahead of the pack.

Don't be in a Hurry

While taking your time and moseying through the process seems counter-productive, it is actually a smart move. If you think immediate action on your part is warranted in order to get your ex back, you're at least partially right. The kind of action you're thinking of, however, is not what's called for. Not right now, at least. The action you need to take is going to go against everything you think to be true. Before moving forward, you need to move back. Give your ex-boyfriend the space he thinks he wants and cut off contact with him completely.

This is not your opportunity to succumb to the many often-overwhelming emotions that arise during the course of a breakup. You need to keep your head held high and maintain your dignity - even if it feels like everything else is breaking in half. You can limit the necessity of future damage-control by not leaving wreckage in your wake - just walk away. You can rebuild the relationship later - after some time has passed and you've had the opportunity to rebuild yourself first.

Once you're gone, some things are going to change in the life of your ex. Namely, you're not going to be around, and he's not going to know how to react. That will make him think about you more than he intended. Once you're on his mind, he's going to miss you. That factor is what's going to make him realize that ending things may not have been his best option and he's going to start wanting you again. Recognized or not, that's going to be the underlying current that reestablishes your relationship.

Understand the Need for Time Apart

Unfortunately, a lot of women don't take this advice and they try to fit themselves into their ex-boyfriend's new, single life right away. This wreaks havoc on their own self-confidence and it does nothing to enhance their image to their ex. You want to avoid any potentially weird scenes that would arise by "running into" him in public - which means stalking is out. If the idea of staying "friends" comes up, think of it rationally. Can you see yourself casually hanging out with your ex in a purely platonic way? Not very likely, is it? If your ex talks about "staying friends" translate that in guy-speak to mean that he's either unwilling to permanently cut ties - or he's trying to spare your feelings. Neither one of those options will help your chances at getting back together.

The only thing you should be focusing on at this particular moment is making every possible effort to keep yourself away from your ex - period. You want to keep this going for more than a few days even though seconds will seem like hours. The more you can avoid contact, the more effective it's going to end up being. Not only are you allowing the time to heal but you're also showing your ex that you respect him enough to stay away - at least that's the way it will seem.

While you're busy working on yourself, your ex isn't going to have a clue what's going on and it's more than likely that he'll make the first move and contact you. Losing you never seemed like a viable option to him. Now it does. He's going to be going crazy wondering what you're up to since you obviously have better things to do than chase him and try to convince him that being together is really what he wants after all.

Reinforce a Positive Response

The more curious your ex becomes about your whereabouts, your activities and your potential partners the better off you'll be. No matter what he said or did throughout the breakup process, getting the silent treatment was not a part of his plan - and it's the last thing he wanted to happen. He was counting on the fact that you'd be in hot pursuit and he already had his running shoes on just in case. Not only were they not put to use but they were completely unnecessary.

Now if he looks around, you're nowhere to be found - and that's going to set him on edge more than anything else you could have done throughout this process. You are making him more uncomfortable than he could have predicted - and you're doing it by appearing to do nothing at all. What more could you ask for? You're headed towards the gold medal in relationship repair and all you had to do was keep your distance and avoid contact. It may have been hard to resist, but this result is worth it.

Make Correct Contact

After some time has passed, it's time to come up with a reason to contact him. If nothing else comes to mind, you can always scrounge up some of his belongings that were inevitably left at your apartment. They don't have to be important or valuable - anything will do. Maybe he left some movies, CDs or clothing behind. That's all you need to make your move.

Make sure you have your ducks in a row and don't try to wing it. You can't call him for no reason and you don't want to risk being blown off by sending an email or text. While technology can often work in your favor, it is not reliable for these kinds of situations. Once you gather up some of his things, reach out and make the call. Let him know what you found, but make it sound casual, not like a wild excuse. Let him decide what to do. More than likely, he's going to take the initiative here and suggest getting together in person - either by coming by your house or meeting somewhere neutral.

Your Next Steps

The 'I want to contact my ex boyfriend' dilemma is easily fixed with the right advice, but there is still more that you have to do in order to get him back. You need to get to grips with male psychology and how you can use it to make him want you back. Also keep your eyes peeled for signs he still likes you, this will give you the red light to proceed if you can dig beneath all the pretense and read his body language etc.


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