This Article is About
perfect excuse
perfect evening
face reality
life doesn
wishful thinking
modern technology
heartache
good company
disappointment
odds
email
basketball
Is Contacting Your Ex On His Birthday A Good Idea? - Think Again
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Is Contacting Your Ex on His Birthday A Good Idea?  -  Think Again

You know that you're guilty of thinking about it. You were just sitting there thinking about the next excuse to get in contact with your ex-boyfriend. Consider yourself caught in the act. You're in good company, though - most women feel the same way. There always seems to be that one guy that we can't get out of our minds. We just can't let him go. We dreamed of a future with him, and never imagined that those dreams wouldn't come true. We're still waiting for our happy ending with Prince Charming. But underneath all the wishful thinking, we know better. You know better, don't you? You know that calling him and then hanging up when he answers isn't productive - and since caller ID is standard now, he knows that it's you.

You're doing nothing but letting your life pass you by when you go to a restaurant all the way across town just because that's where he likes to eat. You don't even like basketball, but you catch yourself at the park where he just happens to play pick-up games with his friends. Now, after all that, it's almost his birthday and you're thinking that's the perfect excuse to reach out and call him, right? Wrong. Put down the phone, do not text and don't even think about hitting send on that email. Go somewhere far, far away from modern technology.

Face Reality

While the possibility of catching up on current news may seem like the perfect evening for you, calling your ex-boyfriend on his birthday isn't going to work out the way you'd like. He's not going to magically change his mind about you or the relationship and suddenly want you back. Real life doesn't work the way that the movies portray it, and that kind of thing rarely (if ever) happens. The odds are stacked against you. Calling him on his special day is doing nothing but opening the door for a lot of disappointment and heartache.

What if he's screening his calls and he doesn't pick up the phone? What if he's busy on his birthday and he doesn't have the time to take a call from his ex? Even worse - what if he DOES answer and the entire conversation is just one awkward pause after another. Is that really what you had in mind? I didn't think so. You can't expect miracles when you dial his number to wish him a happy birthday. He's not going to suddenly change his mind and come running back to you without a second thought.

Things to Do

Want to know one of the most effective and productive things you can do for yourself when the calendar flips to his birthday? Pretend like you don't remember. Playing this card right can actually work in your favor and take you by surprise. Let the date pass you by without a second thought. Then, casually send him a text in a few days to wish him a happy belated. This shows him clearly that he is no longer the center of your world. He's not the sun that keeps you turning. This can play with his ego immensely if you play your cards right.

The last thing you want is to intentionally hurt him or seem cruel, and that's not what this move is about. But this strategy will make him take notice of you again. It will pique his interest in a way that is undeniable. He will be forced to realize that you have other things of importance in your life, and his birthday was not at the top of the list. It will also make him consider the fact that you may have moved on with your life and that you're no longer consumed by your breakup. If he still harbors any feelings for you of a romantic nature, this possibility will push him into quick and decisive action and he may come running. Acting like you don't want him will only make him want you more.

Other Options

If that approach seems too hard to manage and you just cannot keep your hands off of your cell phone on his big day, there is another option. Send him a text on his actual birthday, but keep it simple. Say "happy birthday". That's it. Don't call him baby, sweetheart or those other names that were a secret between the two of you. Don't tell him that you miss him and want him back. Now is not the time. Just keep it short and to the point, and realize that if he doesn't respond, it's okay. Don't take it personally, and don't let it have a negative effect on you.

In fact, it's better to prepare yourself for the possibility that he may not respond. He may be busy or out with friends. That's okay. Don't let it get you down. Thoroughly prepare yourself for the possibility of no response before you decide to send that text. If not getting an answer would crush your spirits, don't send it. It's not worth it in the long run to wound your pride to wish him a happy birthday. There is no reason at this point for your hopes to go soaring above the clouds, and you have no reason to think that your simple message would send him right back into your arms.

The best course of action is to follow a strict policy of self-control. Give him some breathing room. It's better for both of you. No one enjoys the possibility of spending their life with someone who is stuck in a breakup rut and unable to move on. No one wants to plan a future with someone whose maturity level is far below par. Show him that his birthday is just another day of the week to you. Keeping your self-esteem on track and not setting yourself up for failure is the best thing that you can do for yourself in this time, and nothing is worth compromising that.

Next Steps

Learn to communicate effectively and use those communication skills to your advantage. Knowing how and when to contact your ex after a breakup is a vital part of the process that can lead to reconciliation. Certain techniques have been proven to mess with his psyche and make him want you back.

Avoid chasing him and acting foolishly, though. Being pursued unwillingly is the fastest way to send him running in the opposite direction, and that's a common mistake that girls make. Avoid that at all costs. Make sure that you're reading the signs correctly. If he's not still interested, then any pursuit will only be setting yourself up for failure. If you really do want to get back your ex boyfriend, these things are so important.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
What's Wrong With Sugar?
Many of us have read and heard that "Sugar is bad for you." I think we sort of know that is probably true but we don't have the straight facts as to why or what to do about it. There is so much out there about sugar it is overwhelming!…
By: Patty Allread in  Health and Fitness  >  Nutrition   Apr 06, 2012  
4
  Likes: 2

Calm Act Makes Commercial Volume the Same As Program Volume
How do you relax? Do you listen to music? Run? Read a book? If you are like many people, you relax by watching television. You tune in to a sitcom or find a favorite program on another channel. You have your soft drink, your chips, and the cordless phone on…
By: Hollie E. Townsend in  Legal  >  Regulatory Compliance   Dec 15, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Did you ever wonder?
What has the future in store for me? I could sit and wonder for years, it brings a nice calming effect over me. Will I go forward; be who I am meant to be. Will I be sitting wondering this time next year? Sometimes we just have to call “a…
By: Tommy Macken in  Self Improvement  >  Coaching   Sep 02, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Changes in yourself to become organized
In life every situation an individual is presented with can be very challenging if you are not organized. When asked to go out or get something   if you don’t know where it’s at or have to climb over things to get it this can make you lose time. Not to…
By: lucas1 in  Self Improvement  >  Motivation   Sep 26, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Do a Diet the Skinny Mind Way
Do you want to know how to do a diet the Skinny Mind way? The first thing you need to realize is that we all have a diet; a diet is simply the sum total of everything we eat, so it’s not intrinsically a bad thing ‘to be on a…
By: chris13 in  Health and Fitness  >  Weight Loss   Aug 15, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back Into My Life?
How can I get my ex boyfriend back? Letting go is never the easiest thing to do. Sometimes you feel that ending the relationship is wrong. It’s wrong to let him walk away from your life. You love him and you want him to be here with you. But sometimes,…
By: Ashley Kay in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Jun 18, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Improve Concentration Now
Your life, your goals, your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health are all dependent on how and what you concentrate on. With that said—it makes since to take care of this aspect of life, DOESN'T IT?! :) Let's get started! Make progress now To make rapid progress we need to…
By: Brandon8 in  Self Improvement  >  Memory Training   Jan 21, 2013  
1
  Likes: 2

How to Play Hard to Get With A Guy
We have all heard that guys are interested in the chase. A guy will value a girl more if he had to work to get her, rather than if the girl was simply too eager and available. Being the kind of a girl that a guy will fall crazy in…
By: bizgrrl in  Relationships   Aug 17, 2015  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Live A Happy Healthy Life?
At one time or another, we step back and ask ourselves: am I happy with my life? What does it take to have a happy and healthy life? I guess you can say that the answer might be different for every individual, but there are some things that can help…
By: Andy Luu in  Self Improvement  >  Empowerment   Nov 16, 2011  
1
  Likes: 3

About motivations and why people do what they do
There is a reason why people do what they do….
By: Doralin Danz in  Self Improvement  >  Empowerment   Feb 06, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

The more we get the more we want…
People all around the world always what more than they already have. Some of us call it ambitions and some say that it is stupidity. But which one do you think it is? We always want more money, friends, sex, cars or freedom. There is always something missing in our…
By: sashylia in  Self Improvement  >  Positive Attitude   Jun 09, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Extend Your Comfort Zone By Changing Habits And Change Your Life
In general we are doing what makes us feel comfortable. We live daily our habits acquired during our past. Habits refer not only to the actions we perform, but also to our thoughts, to our mindsets. Usually, a habit is acquired through repetition; repetition of actions or repetition of thoughts.…
By: Ancuta Neagu in  Self Improvement  >  Personal Growth   Jun 07, 2011  
0
  Likes: 3

Is Dating My Ex A Good Idea?
You broke up a long time ago. Now she says she wants you back. She says it was all a big mistake and that she's sorry she ever walked out. You're still hurting from the way she left but can't deny that you are still head over heels in love…
By: T Dub Jackson in  Relationships  >  Dating   May 23, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Get A Woman to Love You
It’s not as hard as you think. You can learn how to get a woman to love you, by simply learning the art of buying flowers for women, would definitely ensure your esteem in their eyes and ultimately seal the deal. Letting a woman know how much you care for…
By: Afees Alli in  Relationships  >  Communication   May 20, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

What To Say To Your Ex Boyfriend - Leave Him Wanting More!
You've been coming up with lists of things that you want to say to your ex boyfriend ever since you broke up. When the time actually comes, however, you seem to be stumbling over your words and every thought you had went flying out the window. Instead of hanging up…
By:  in  Relationships  >  Communication   Sep 15, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 3895    Report this Article