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Is Contacting Your Ex On His Birthday A Good Idea? - Think Again
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Is Contacting Your Ex on His Birthday A Good Idea?  -  Think Again

You know that you're guilty of thinking about it. You were just sitting there thinking about the next excuse to get in contact with your ex-boyfriend. Consider yourself caught in the act. You're in good company, though - most women feel the same way. There always seems to be that one guy that we can't get out of our minds. We just can't let him go. We dreamed of a future with him, and never imagined that those dreams wouldn't come true. We're still waiting for our happy ending with Prince Charming. But underneath all the wishful thinking, we know better. You know better, don't you? You know that calling him and then hanging up when he answers isn't productive - and since caller ID is standard now, he knows that it's you.

You're doing nothing but letting your life pass you by when you go to a restaurant all the way across town just because that's where he likes to eat. You don't even like basketball, but you catch yourself at the park where he just happens to play pick-up games with his friends. Now, after all that, it's almost his birthday and you're thinking that's the perfect excuse to reach out and call him, right? Wrong. Put down the phone, do not text and don't even think about hitting send on that email. Go somewhere far, far away from modern technology.

Face Reality

While the possibility of catching up on current news may seem like the perfect evening for you, calling your ex-boyfriend on his birthday isn't going to work out the way you'd like. He's not going to magically change his mind about you or the relationship and suddenly want you back. Real life doesn't work the way that the movies portray it, and that kind of thing rarely (if ever) happens. The odds are stacked against you. Calling him on his special day is doing nothing but opening the door for a lot of disappointment and heartache.

What if he's screening his calls and he doesn't pick up the phone? What if he's busy on his birthday and he doesn't have the time to take a call from his ex? Even worse - what if he DOES answer and the entire conversation is just one awkward pause after another. Is that really what you had in mind? I didn't think so. You can't expect miracles when you dial his number to wish him a happy birthday. He's not going to suddenly change his mind and come running back to you without a second thought.

Things to Do

Want to know one of the most effective and productive things you can do for yourself when the calendar flips to his birthday? Pretend like you don't remember. Playing this card right can actually work in your favor and take you by surprise. Let the date pass you by without a second thought. Then, casually send him a text in a few days to wish him a happy belated. This shows him clearly that he is no longer the center of your world. He's not the sun that keeps you turning. This can play with his ego immensely if you play your cards right.

The last thing you want is to intentionally hurt him or seem cruel, and that's not what this move is about. But this strategy will make him take notice of you again. It will pique his interest in a way that is undeniable. He will be forced to realize that you have other things of importance in your life, and his birthday was not at the top of the list. It will also make him consider the fact that you may have moved on with your life and that you're no longer consumed by your breakup. If he still harbors any feelings for you of a romantic nature, this possibility will push him into quick and decisive action and he may come running. Acting like you don't want him will only make him want you more.

Other Options

If that approach seems too hard to manage and you just cannot keep your hands off of your cell phone on his big day, there is another option. Send him a text on his actual birthday, but keep it simple. Say "happy birthday". That's it. Don't call him baby, sweetheart or those other names that were a secret between the two of you. Don't tell him that you miss him and want him back. Now is not the time. Just keep it short and to the point, and realize that if he doesn't respond, it's okay. Don't take it personally, and don't let it have a negative effect on you.

In fact, it's better to prepare yourself for the possibility that he may not respond. He may be busy or out with friends. That's okay. Don't let it get you down. Thoroughly prepare yourself for the possibility of no response before you decide to send that text. If not getting an answer would crush your spirits, don't send it. It's not worth it in the long run to wound your pride to wish him a happy birthday. There is no reason at this point for your hopes to go soaring above the clouds, and you have no reason to think that your simple message would send him right back into your arms.

The best course of action is to follow a strict policy of self-control. Give him some breathing room. It's better for both of you. No one enjoys the possibility of spending their life with someone who is stuck in a breakup rut and unable to move on. No one wants to plan a future with someone whose maturity level is far below par. Show him that his birthday is just another day of the week to you. Keeping your self-esteem on track and not setting yourself up for failure is the best thing that you can do for yourself in this time, and nothing is worth compromising that.

Next Steps

Learn to communicate effectively and use those communication skills to your advantage. Knowing how and when to contact your ex after a breakup is a vital part of the process that can lead to reconciliation. Certain techniques have been proven to mess with his psyche and make him want you back.

Avoid chasing him and acting foolishly, though. Being pursued unwillingly is the fastest way to send him running in the opposite direction, and that's a common mistake that girls make. Avoid that at all costs. Make sure that you're reading the signs correctly. If he's not still interested, then any pursuit will only be setting yourself up for failure. If you really do want to get back your ex boyfriend, these things are so important.

Street Talk

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