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My Ex Boyfriend Sent Me A Text - Why?
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My Ex Boyfriend Sent Me A Text  -  Why?

So your ex boyfriend sent you a text - what does it all mean? Although your relationship is over, in a lot of ways it's like nothing has changed. You feel like you're stuck in limbo - you know that you either need to start working towards repairing your broken relationship or you need to get up and move on - but either option is made even more difficult if your ex is still contacting you through phone calls, emails or text messages. What's really going on and what should you do about it? The answers may surprise you, but they can give you a concrete plan going forward.

Should I Get My Hopes Up?

Absolutely not. Now is not the time for you to start planning your dream wedding or naming your future children. You're still in love with a guy that broke your heart and that makes deciphering coded meanings into things especially easy - and especially dangerous. It's easy to keep hope alive in any way possible - but it's not in your best interest to dwell on what could be. It's much safer to focus on what is.

That doesn't mean that all hope is lost. If your ex is still interested in continued communication after cutting off the relationship, there is a reason - although that reason may not even be clear to him let alone you. His long-term goals may have changed but that doesn't mean his feelings got the memo. Something is keeping him in your life and those feelings play a big part in that process.

You can be thankful that he didn't do what you probably dreaded - put a no-contact policy into effect from the moment he broke up with you into an indefinite period of time into the future. That's what would have happened if he were truly ready to say goodbye. Clearly that isn't the case. That means that there has to be another reason for your ex boyfriend sending you texts - or something else on his mind.

What's Really On His Mind?

Other than you, why does it matter? You've got your eye on the prize and it's practically within reach. You've somehow managed to change the way your ex thought about you and now the positive is completely overwhelming any residual negative. If his thoughts of you were unpleasant he wouldn't be rushing to talk to you, would he? You can pretty much guarantee that his thoughts are moving towards you because he misses you - or he's starting to recognize that he may have made a significant error in judgment. You don't need to know the specifics (although you're dying to). Focus instead on what you can do now to help the process along - and that means responding with your head - and not your heart.

So he's thinking about you, that is why he sent a text message - but that could be a positive or negative thing, right? Try examining the texts themselves. By taking a look at the messages against the common examples below you may gain a lot more insight into his thoughts than you can determine from just what he says on the surface.

- He asks how you're doing

How sweet, right? He's concerned about you after all this time and that should mean that he really cares, right? Well, yes and no. He's clearly conflicted about his own mental and emotional state and he's probably been driving himself crazy. What guy actually comes out and says what they mean off the bat? Realistically speaking, none of them. See this as a sign, but not one that necessarily means that reconciliation is right around the corner.

- Out of the blue request to pick up his things

You'd think that if anything left behind by your ex was that important, he would have taken it with him. In fact, you can't think of a single thing that would merit receiving a text out of nowhere to inquire about getting it. This is not the case if he left behind something valuable or important, but that rarely happens. This, like the question above, is just another reason to justify texting you and striking up a conversation.

- Surprises you by suggesting a meeting to talk

If you're jumping up and down for joy right now, you may have a good reason. This is definitely a positive message, but it's not quite time to celebrate.

Your ex may have another arrangement in mind. He may see you as someone he can turn to when he's lonely or wanting some physical attention and the last thing you want to do is become someone he views as a friend with added, physical benefits.

While it may be tempting to give in, it's not going to help you reestablish a relationship. You should approach a meeting cautiously and not just assume that he wants the same thing you do. He may just have one thing on his mind.

- Asks what's wrong with staying friends

If you sincerely want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend, you should never agree to just be friends. You're basically accepting the fact that he no longer considers you relationship-material and agreeing to stay in his life - on his terms.

Your ex doesn't want to be friends. Plain and simple, he wants to know that he has you in his back pocket so he doesn't have to feel quite so alone. After all, if things don't work out the way he imagines, he can always go to his second choice - you.

By offering friendship, he is giving himself the advantage of insight. He knows what you're doing and who you're with and he doesn't have to be curious about whether or not you're moving on. If you agree to a friendship, you're playing right into his hands.

What Should I Say?

If you've made it this far, you've certainly come a long way. Keep the plan in motion by letting your ex sweat for a while - at least until he can realize that texting you and expecting a response is not in his best interest.

You've never kept him waiting like this - he's used to instantaneous communication whenever he wishes and you've changed the rules. You may think that he should have seen this coming when he ended the relationship, but sometimes it takes a lesson like this to get guys to think outside of the box.

As more and more time passes without getting a single reply to his texts, he's going to become more and more interested in what you're up to - and he's going to become even more interested in you as well. If he thinks he can't have you and you're out of reach, his instinct is going to kick into high gear and then the true chase begins. Send him the message loud and clear that texts aren't going to be good enough - if he wants to talk to you he needs to do it in person, or at least be willing to make a phone call.

Your Next Steps

Getting your ex-boyfriend back is a slow and often difficult process but you're learning to fine-tune your technique to up the ante. When your ex boyfriend sends you texts it is a good sign he still likes you. Next you should start finding new ways to keep his interest elevated and there are many proven tips to help you on your way such as powerful get him back strategies.

You should also make sure that you don't make any of these break up mistakes, a lot of girls are guilty of doing at least some of them without even realising it.


Street Talk

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