It is hard enough to fix your break up, but this situation is made even more difficult when your ex won't speak to you. You don't know what you have done wrong and your ex will not allow you to rectify the problems anyway, so should you just give up?

Well the answer to that is no. Obviously what you have been doing up until is not working, so it is time to stop and try something else - something that will work. There are ways to get your ex to speak to you again without being forceful or using guilt trips. It all centers around understanding human psychology and what will make your ex want to speak to you again, of their own free will.

Put Yourself In Your Ex's Shoes

Right now you can only see things through your eyes - how the break up is affecting you. You don't necessarily have to ignore your feelings but you do have to stop and think about how your ex is feeling too. Take a minute to think about how your behaviour looks to your ex boyfriend - are you starting to see why he won't speak to you now?

The more you try to initiate contact with your ex boyfriend, the more he will pull away and want to avoid you. If he broke up with you all he is after is some space and breathing room right now to come to terms with what has just happened. The last thing that he wants is to deal with your texts, facebook messages or emails - he will just think you are desperate. It will also reinforce his decision to break up with you, that is not what you want to happen.

Your ex boyfriend will not want to have to deal with a needy and desperate girl. They ended things for a reason and you are going to have to try and accept that for now. If you don't you can come across as childish and bitter - highly unattractive traits. Instead you should surprise him with how maturely you are handling the break up. By making him see what he is missing, you will start to plant seeds of doubt in his mind for letting you go. This is when he is likely to stop ignoring you and initiate contact again.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that a lack of contact on your part is giving up on the relationship. In fact, you are doing the opposite. You are just trying a different method to make him speak to you again. You should not think that your ex boyfriend doesn't like you anymore either just because they are not speaking to you. There are lots of reasons why they are doing this and they don't necessarily signify that he has moved on.

Reasons Why He Is Not Speaking To You After Your Break Up

You Are Contacting Him Too Much

Be honest with yourself here, are you constantly trying to text or call him? Do you try to bump into him and pretend that it is just a coincidence? Are you Facebook stalking him and hinting at things through your comments etc? This will be obvious to him, even if you think that you are being subtle. He will be looking for how you are responding to the break up and everything you say or do will be a huge indication into how you are feeling. That is why you have to exert some willpower here and do NOT pick up the phone, chain yourself to your computer or watch his every move. He will know what you are up to - you are not fooling anyone.

He Is Angry

Maybe the break up was a messy one and lots of things were said that you now regret - hurtful things. Break ups are fraught with emotions and each person will be highly sensitive to what the other person says. Perhaps you said some things out of anger in an attempt to provoke a reaction from him. You may have forgotten these things but he won't have.

He is probably hurt and wants to keep his distance from you out of spite or as a means of protecting himself from further insult. He could want to treat you badly out of revenge just to see how you handle it. This is horrible behaviour of course, but when we are hurt usual codes of conduct go out the window.

During this time you have to give him the space that he wants for him to be able to calm down and face you again. The last thing that you want is to provoke him again or hear him say hurtful things about you. Give him time and the anger that he is feeling will eventually dissipate.

Ultimately, your actions will determine whether or not your ex boyfriend speaks to you again. You cannot force him to do so or lay on the guilt either. This will just not work. It requires patience and time and a lot of reverse psychology to make him want to reach out and communicate with you again.

Your Next Steps

You have to understand what these techniques are to be able to pull them off properly. Have you heard of the no contact rule? If not then you will need to study it carefully. Use this strategy to make your ex boyfriend desperate to contact you again. The best thing about this is that he won't even know that you are behind his sudden desire to speak to you.

Being aware of embarrassing break up mistakes women make is also crucial if you want to get him back. If you can avoid these things he will see you in a much more positive light and want to get back together with you. Most women do not even know that they are doing these things!