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Should I Call My Ex Boyfriend? - Beware Of The Dangers
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Should I Call My Ex Boyfriend?  -  Beware Of The Dangers

A lot of women believe that they have all the answers to the question "should I call my ex boyfriend?". They may experience setbacks along the way, but overall they're pretty confident. Unfortunately, a lot of these women often fall into the same patterns and make a mistake after an unwanted breakup. They reach out and call their ex. Chances are high that they don't just do it once and then drop it. They probably do it repeatedly.

Instead of falling into the same routine and making the same error, stop to think about what you're doing. What are your motivations for dialing his number? What do you expect to happen? What's he thinking right now, and what is his attitude towards you like? If you can't answer those questions, then picking up the phone isn't the right move at the moment. Play your cards right and put yourself in an ideal position before reaching out. It will work out for you in the long run.

If your ex is treating you like you're invisible, it's pretty clear that he's not looking for contact at this particular moment, therefore, calling your ex boyfriend is a no no. He's probably thinking through a lot and he wants to distance himself from the relationship as much as possible before he'll be amicable to any kind of communication. While being ignored by someone you still love is unpleasant, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

If he's avoiding you altogether it may be because he still has feelings for you that he's struggling to control. Not seeing you or hearing from you is a way that he can shove those feelings aside and focus on something else. That is not an invitation to call him right this second and remind him of those feelings. What you can do is to take the steps necessary to bring those feelings back to life. Once he is unable to ignore them, he'll realize that he misses you. Once he misses you, you're already on the path to success.

Create an Air of Illusion

Guys don't always think to look behind the surface and they often see only what they're expecting to see. Your ex knows that you didn't want the relationship to end. You pretty much proved his case for him. He has no reason to think that would change now. By acting in a way that lets your ex know without a doubt that you're still interested in working things out, you've given him the opportunity of a lifetime. In his view, nothing is at risk. Worst case scenario he can always take you back. If he finds something else that catches his eye more, he's free to chase after that as well. He hasn't lost anything because you're still feeding into his ego unintentionally. Give his male-ego a kick that he won't forget - stop chasing him and see how fast he'll start to turn around.

Don't believe the hype if you think he won't notice. He's clearly not over you if he's content to have you consistently in the background. Maybe he thought that although he ended the relationship he could keep you around "just in case". Refusing to be his standby plan is going to hit him hard and it's going to make him start to question everything. He's going to wonder if you're no longer interested or if you've got your eye on someone new. These nagging questions are going to eat him up until he simply needs to know the answer. The scales are starting to even out - now is the time to make sure they move all the way over to your side of the table.

You're about to see what it's like to suddenly have all the choices and all of the power in the cat-and-mouse chase that is going to ensue. Instead of sitting back passively and waiting for the magic to happen, you need to get out there and make it. You may just realize that you enjoy it. You're single now and there's nothing holding you back. You owe no one any obligations and you have every right to enjoy it. So go out there and have some fun. Increase your self-esteem. In the process, his blood is going to start boiling and he's going to be dying to get some answers from you. It's only a matter of time.

Stop All Contact and Become An Irresistible Mystery

The best way possible to convince your ex that you're something worth noticing is to back off and stop responding. Don't initiate contact and if he messages you, don't jump to respond. In fact, don't respond at all. A few weeks on your own will do more for reconnecting your broken relationship than almost anything else. He was never expecting to miss you so suddenly or abruptly. He thought that he could let you go gradually and have the time to adjust to life without you in it - and he was wrong.

Suddenly the ball is not in his court anymore and he no longer has a say. That will set him up immediately for questioning the breakup itself and reconsidering his decision. You're instantly going to gain his respect and that respect will come with more attraction than you knew. He's going to see you as an object of desire again. The more unattainable and removed you can become during this time, the more he's going to want you.

Change His Mind - Get him to Want Contact Again

In order for contact to be reestablished successfully, he probably wants it to be his idea. That's why getting impatient can work against you and can undo a lot of the progress you've already made. Patience is not a popular virtue, but it's going to work in your favor. After the breakup, he probably acted like a different person. The guy who was comfortable leaving his dirty socks all over your apartment probably seemed like he could barely look at you. It's simple - the breakup left him feeling both guilty and uncomfortable and he didn't know how to act.

Now that he's thinking about you that feeling is starting to come back up. The awkwardness will eventually be replaced by his interest and attraction but you have to allow him the space to let that happen. If you're aggressive or pushy now, you may end up chasing him away completely. You need to keep your cool and act behind the scenes like you have been. You can increase his tendency to think of you and make those thoughts a lot more positive than he is expecting. He's already missing you and you can encourage that sentiment while not being blatantly obvious. That's the key to getting him back. If you play your cards right and put some proven techniques into play, he won't be able to stay away from you for much longer.

Your Next Steps

Okay, so you now know that contacting him first is not a good idea, but what do you say when he does get in touch? A powerful way to retain and ignite his interest in you is to do it through special no contact techniques. You want to say the correct things at the right time to encourage his attraction for you. Saying any old thing right now will put you back to square one.

Another thing that you should be considering is to make your ex boyfriend jealous. This is a subtle art form and should be used with caution, but if you pull it off correctly, he will realise what he stands to lose and ultimately want you back. Would you like to know if he is still interested in you first though? Watch out for the signs he still loves you. These can be a huge giveaway and an insight into whether you still stand a chance with him.

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