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Should I Initiate Contact With My Ex Boyfriend? - The Truth
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Should I Initiate Contact With My Ex Boyfriend?  -  The Truth

It's normal to miss an ex after a difficult or unexpected breakup. This is someone that you've invested a lot of time and energy in and he decided that he was done with the relationship. You don't really understand the reasons he gave you (if he bothered to give you any reasons at all) and you're left in the dark. You suddenly have a lot of free time on your hands, and it's tempting to fill that time by texting, calling, emailing or Facebook stalking your ex. The truth is that none of those solutions will help you get him back.

It's time to break out of the mold that you've been stuck in ever since the breakup caught you by surprise. Rather than sitting there waiting for him to call or endlessly debating whether or not you should call him instead, you need to realize that before that contact can be made, you need to take a few steps first. Jumping right into contact unprepared is potentially hazardous and can leave you both feeling anxious or irritated and that's not going to help anyone.

You need to be working on one thing and one thing only before you can make any other steps work. Quite simply, you have to get your ex to start seeing you in a positive light. He is probably avoiding you because he remembers the breakup distinctly and he doesn't want to be faced with that girl again. If he starts remembering the way things used to be, his feelings for you will overwhelm any lingering negativity. This will make him start missing you and realizing first-hand the toll that your absence has taken.

Give Him the Impression of Acceptance

No one is expecting you to be the epitome of stoicism - least of all your ex-boyfriend - and you don't have to be. You are entitled to all those feelings of hurt, betrayal and anger that boil up whenever you turn around. There's a difference between experiencing your emotions and allowing them to control you. Don't let him see what he's looking for - any justification to prove to himself that leaving you was the smart move and he did the right thing. Stop calling him and begging for another chance. Move away from the temptation to reach out. Only then will his thought process start to change. It may be a gradual shift, but it will certainly start to move in your direction sooner than you think.

You can speed up the process by deciding on a crucial step and putting it into practice. Remember, your ex-boyfriend is practically counting on you to linger around in the shadows for a while after he has ended the relationship. You're feeding into that perception and it's stroking his ego while he puts himself on the market for other women. Instead of resigning yourself to the role he expects you to play, do the opposite. Don't hang around unnecessarily - in fact, don't hang around at all. Don't make contact, and don't show up in places where you know he will be. Avoid them. As soon as you stop coming around, he's going to realize what's missing. More importantly, he's going to wonder why. That curiosity is going to be something that will get the ball rolling in your direction again.

While he's starting to doubt and question his decision to leave you behind (which may just lead to a few sleepless nights on his part) you're going to be taking down the town. Meet up with your friends and have a few drinks. Initiate a weekly girl's night out to celebrate the end of the work week. Hang out with a couple guy friends from the office or from your building. Go dancing. Whatever you do, enjoy it. The word is going to reach him sooner or later and that doubt that has been building inside of him is going to be coming close to a critical breaking point.

Drive him Crazy by Avoiding Contact Completely

Remember back in the day when your ex simply couldn't get enough of you? You spent hours texting or talking on the phone and all you wanted to do was learn everything you could about each other. Everything was new and that's part of what made it so enticing. You can get that feeling again, but it takes a drastic move on your part that may be hard to pull off. In order to become the object of his curiosity again, you need to sever all contact you have with him.

It's only when you actively choose to stop playing his game that the situation really starts to shift. He may pretend that he doesn't like hearing from you but he does. He's expecting it to continue until he's truly ready to move on. By removing all ties, he's left with no other option but to realize how much he misses having you around. Once that happens, you're on the road to success without having to resort to belittling yourself or behaviors that don't get you anywhere fast.

Can I Really Get Him To Call Me?

The answer is yes, absolutely. Before you get too excited, you need to realize that you cannot control someone else's actions - otherwise he never would have ended the relationship at all. You cannot make his mind up for him or force him to dial your number but that doesn't mean that you have to simply sit back and wait.

You can employ some techniques here that easily put you on the forefront of his mind again - a place where you used to be all the time. When he does pick up that phone, it will be because he wants to and he's made the choice. That's when he'll be the most receptive towards renewing your relationship and giving it another chance. You won't have to worry about catching him off guard if he's made the first move. This gives him the impression that he's in the driver's seat again and he can once more feel like the natural hunter. This can reignite the spark that once existed in the beginning stages of your relationship and that will be your best shot to get him back.

Your Next Steps

Knowing what to say and when to say it is just as important as making him call you. Your next steps are crucial here because you want to make a good impression when he does contact you again. By using powerful attraction techniques, you can soon make him see you in a positive light, create mystery and make him want to contact you often.

You will also need to know how to make him want you again as well. If there is no desire for you left, he will not be moved to get back together with you, it just won't work. A lot of this have to do with making your ex boyfriend jealous. Subtlety is always best with this avenue, you don't want to play games and make him think that you are childish. When you implement the right techniques at the right time, your chances of getting him back increase substantially. Read up on as much information as you can at this stage, because it will pay off big time in the long run.


Street Talk

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